


Wretched and Divine

by thatscalledyes



Series: Lena/Jake/Andy [1]
Category: Black Veil Brides
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-02
Updated: 2014-01-26
Packaged: 2017-12-16 21:52:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 35
Words: 28,826
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/867001
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatscalledyes/pseuds/thatscalledyes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lena just wanted to dance. After being mentally tormented at her studio for years, an opportunity arises in which she is allowed to dance as much as she wants with out all the judgement. On the way, she stumbles across a boy who could help change her life for the better.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Ch. 1

Lena was finally given the opportunity to make all her dreams come true and she dove for it. When her teacher, Mr. Hutch, assigned them this project to do, Lena was unsure of what the project consisted of. She'd heard wonderful things about the class and how the end of the year project was basically anything you wanted it to be.

"As you guys know, this class participates in the annual Astronomy Jam we have every year." Mr. Hutch explained. "I'm not the type of teacher who says 'Do it this way.' or 'You have to make a poster, you have to do this, you have to do that.' I want your project to reflect your passion. Whatever you're passionate about is what I want your project to be."

Lena's eyes lit up at the teacher's words. The idea came to her immediately when he had said they could do anything. Lena wanted to dance. It was her biggest passion after all and she wanted a chance to prove to herself and others that she wasn't just the quiet girl in the back of the class with no talent.

After class, Lena went to talk to her teacher about the project. She wanted to start this right then and there. She wanted to make sure that everything would be perfect.

"Mr. Hutch? I was just wondering..." Lena began.

"I saw you get excited when I was talking about the project. You know, I love seeing students like you get excited about something their passionate about." Mr. Hutch was always very optimistic.

"I wanted to do a dance for my project." Lena looked down at the ground, unsure of how Mr. Hutch would react. She really hoped he would agree because it was the only thing she was really good at. If he didn't approve, she would have nothing else to do.

"That sounds like a wonderful idea!" He exclaimed. "What kinds of things do you need me to get for you or supply you with?" Mr. Hutch was always very generous as well. He was one of those teachers who everyone, no matter how much of an attitude or behavioral problem you had, everyone respected him.

Lena smiled widely. "I just would need access to the auditorium is all. I'd need a space to practice in and I feel that would be perfect."

"You got it, kiddo. Any time the auditorium is empty, it's yours to use." Mr. Hutch smiled and sent Lena on her way.

Lena was overcome with an immense feeling of joy, excitement, and happiness. She was finally getting a chance to show everyone that she really was good at something. Lena had been talking dance classes for ten years and over the course of those ten years, she felt degraded. No matter how much begging and pleading, she would always be placed in classes at a lower level than what she was at. She was just as old, if not older, than all the girls in the advanced classes. She just wanted to be with them. But no one ever listened to her.

As soon as Lena got home, she ran to her room to start working on her choreography. She wanted to be admitted into the auditorium as soon as possible. This was the start of her dream and it was only going to get better from here. Or so she thought.


	2. Ch. 2

Lena couldn't wait for school to be over already. She was sitting in her last class of the day, dreaming of how her dance was going look on the stage. She had everything planned out and she felt it was going to be perfect. She watched the clock as the hands ticked off the minutes slowly. Three seconds, two seconds, one second. The bell rang and Lena was the first one out of her seat and running towards the door. She hurried up the stairs and down the hallway to her locker. She threw her books in and grabbed her black bag which contained her dance clothes, shoes, and everything else she needed.

She quickly tied up her blonde hair and gathered her bags together before shuffling out of the bathroom and down the hallway to the auditorium. She just hoped the doors would be unlocked. She hated having to talk to people and the janitors at her school weren't the nicest.

Luckily for her, the doors were unlocked and the lights were on. She walked down the center aisle, allowing the double doors to slam shut behind her. She spread out her stuff on the front of the stage, set up her iPod in it's dock, and began stretching. At first it felt awkward being in an empty auditorium by herself but once she put the song on and let herself get lost in the music, the room could have been filled and she would have still felt like the only one there.

The music stopped and in that brief moment of silence, Lena could have sworn she thought she heard a door open and shut somewhere in the back of the auditorium. She paused for a second and waited but no one appeared and nothing happened. Lena shrugged it off and started the music over again.

She was so lost in herself, she didn't realize someone actually had come in. A tall, skinny boy with raven black hair carefully made his way into the auditorium. He stayed close to the back because he could see how invested in the music the girl on the stage was. He quietly watched her dance across the stage in an effortless fashion. She was beautiful with the way she moved and the way she looked.

He watched as she did a flip over her shoulder and landed gracefully on her stomach, ending the dance. He started to clap slowly, and revealed himself, walking down the aisle towards the stage.

Her head shot up and looked over at him. She stood up abruptly and brushed herself off. "I--Um..." She didn't know what to say. She was embarrassed that someone had seen her dancing. Even though she would be performing it in front of a lot of people in a few months, she just found it strange having this boy walk in and see her dancing.

"I love that song." He commented. "And you're really talented."

"Th-Thanks." She stuttered. "Uh, what are you doing in here?"

The boy smiled and walked closer to her. "I was just here to see if the auditorium was empty. I was going to hold band practice in here. But you beat me here."

Lena recognized the boy from around school and she had heard rumors about him being in a band. They were supposedly really good but Lena never invested any time in getting to know him. He was a part of that group of kids who liked the same music as her but she didn't feel like she fit in with them otherwise. She had secretly found him very attractive but she never thought he noticed her or knew who she was. There was no point in getting to know him anyways. He already had a girlfriend and she was much prettier than Lena.

"Oh, no, I can leave if you need me to. It's no big deal." Lena was always very modest. She hopped off the front of the stage and started gathering up her things.

The boy walked up behind her and placed his hand on hers to stop her. "No, it's okay. I want to watch you dance some more."

Lena looked into his crystal blue eyes and her breathe was taken away. "O-Okay."

She watched him walk away and sit down in a random seat. She turned away from him and felt her face was burning. She couldn't tell if it was because she had been dancing or because she was blushing. But she definitely felt like it was because she had been majorly blushing. She still didn't know his name and he didn't know hers. But they had this auditorium all to themselves. Anything could happen.


	3. Chapter Three

Lena heard the side door of the auditorium creak open and she looked at the boy with wide eyes. Her eyes screamed at him to find a place to hide.

"Lena?" Mr. Hutch's voice cut through the silent auditorium.

"I'm here." She called back to him.

The boy jumped up from the seat and scurried to the back and crouched down behind the last row of seats. He wasn't supposed to be in here and he knew that. Lena's teacher could take away her privileges and the boy didn't want to risk that.

"It's nearing four o'clock, Lena." Mr. Hutch walked up to the front of the stage, resting both hands on the black floor.

Lena skipped over and sat on the edge of the front by him. "I know..." He looked down.

"Maybe you should head home now. I don't want you to stay here any longer. I can tell you've put in a lot of hard work. You should go home and rest." Mr. Hutch said.

Lena nodded. "I'll start packing up my things and be out of here in a few minutes. I promise."

Mr. Hutch patted her knee gently a couple times before he headed out of the auditorium and back up to his classroom. Lena let out a huge breath as soon as he was gone. The boy from before was still hiding behind the last row of seats.

"Hey, it's okay. He's gone." Lena hopped off the front of the stage and started putting her things in her bag.

"You have Mr. Hutch, too?" The boy asked, making his way down the center aisle and hopping up to sit on the front of the stage.

"Oh, yeah. He's the one who let me use the auditorium for practice." Lena threw her ballet shoes in her bag along with her iPod dock.

The boy swung his dangling legs, softly banging his heels against the stage. "Cool. Is this for your Jam project?"

Lena stopped and looked over at him. "Yeah, actually. It is." She couldn't help but half smile at the sight of him sitting there, swinging his legs and looking at the ground. "Well," Lena tried to snap herself out of the little trance. "I should get going." She pulled her car keys out of her bag and swung the bag over her shoulder. She picked up her jacket and draped it over her arm.

"Hey, wait." The boy jumped off the front of the stage. Lena turned around and looked at him. "Do you..." He trailed off. She could tell he was wary about asking her something. The boy put his gray beanie on his head, his black fringe covering his eyes slightly. "Would you mind giving me a ride home?"

Lena still didn't know who this boy was or what his name was. All she knew was that she had been secretly in love with his outer appearance for a solid year. She wanted to get to know who he was inside and see if he was just as attractive inside as he was outside. She knew this was her chance. He was actually talking to her for the very first time and this had been all she wanted. He had a girlfriend, but at this point, Lena didn't care. She was just overjoyed he was talking to her.

"Yeah, sure. I can do that." She gave him a sympathetic smile.

His face lit up instantly. "Thanks. I just need to grab my backpack from my locker real quick. I'll be right back." The boy ran up the center aisle and pushed through the metal double doors. When she was sure he was gone, she let out a tiny squeal.

"Oh my god. He is just..." She said aloud to herself. "I can't believe I'm giving him a ride home. He's so attractive. It's not fair."

She waited for him to come back but he never did. She waited for at least twenty minutes for him, debating with herself every five minutes if she should just leave or not.

"It's already been ten minutes... Should I just go? I mean, it doesn't seem like he's going to come back..." Lena debated with herself. "No, I'll wait another five minutes and then I'll go. Maybe he'll come back tomorrow." Five minutes later, Lena was still trying to decide if she should leave or not. Lena always had a hard time making decisions or making up her mind.

It was nearing five o'clock and Lena had dance at five. She knew she had to leave whether the boy came back or not. She couldn't keep waiting around for him even though she would wait for him all night if she could. She finally decided she had to go. It took her about ten minutes to get to the dance studio from her school and it was already ten minutes until five.

About ten minutes later, the boy came back and found an empty auditorium. Lena had left without him.


	4. Chapter Four

She felt like the alarm was screaming at her. Well, technically it was for she had Slayer on full blast to wake her up. Lena groaned as she turned over and smacked the snooze button yet again. It was Thursday, her least favorite day of the week. Thursday had always been her least favorite day. Thursday was such a tease. It was the day before Friday and made the weekend seem much further away than it actually was.

She could hear her mother's footsteps above her on the second floor and Lena knew she was coming to wake her up. Sure enough, the door opened and "Lena, get up." was heard.

Lena groaned some more, reached over and stretched to turn on her light and threw the covers off her warm body. She rubbed her eyes and stumbled over discarded shoes and clothes on the floor over to her door. At least April vacation was in two days. That was really the only thing that was keeping her going.

After about 20 minutes, Lena's mom was yelling at her, as she does every morning. "Lena, hurry up! You're going to be late!"

"Fuck off, Mom." Lena mumbled to herself as she pulled her sweatshirt over her head. She grabbed her bag, slipped on her black Vans and headed out the door to her car.

Of course it would be raining today. It took Lena a little extra long to get to school because people around where she lived freaked out over any kind of weather that wasn't sunshine. They all drove as slowly as possible.

When Lena got to her locker, her two friends--Eve and Carson--were waiting for her.

"Traffic?" Eve guessed, moving aside so Lena could get to her locker.

"Yeah..." Lena said, distress clear in her voice.

She twisted the black lock to the correct numbers and unlocked the locker. She opened it to reveal the photo covered inside. Her friends had printed out and given her random pictures of band members and memes of band members for her to put in her locker.

After grabbing her books, Lena, Eve and Carson all headed down the hallway towards their respective classes. Eve and Carson were in some in depth discussion and Lena had sort of zoned them out. She walked behind the two girls, clutching her books against her chest.

As they were turning the corner, the boy from the other day turned the corner too, heading the other way. He hadn't noticed her but she had noticed him, wearing that same gray beanie he had been wearing when they were in the auditorium.

"Hey, guys? I'm going to go to class early. I have to cram for a quiz I forgot about." Lena informed her friends and they just nodded as she turned around and started following the boy.

She had done this quite a lot before she had even ever talked to him. She just loved the way he walked and how his legs looked in his skinny jeans. She saw him turn around the corner again into the lobby and met up with his friends. She kept walking past them but stole a couple more glances at him before continuing on to the next hallway.

She still wondered why he never came back to the auditorium but she didn't expect him to come today. It was probably just a one-time thing. A simple coincidence.

After her first class, she saw him again in the lobby with his friends. She so desperately wanted to just go up to him and say hi but she was too scared to. He probably didn't even like her anyway. So she just continued on her way to homeroom.

Lena didn't see him the rest of the day but decided to tell Eve and Carson about him at lunch. She sat at the table, waiting for her friends to come in when who else but the boy she has been stalking for the past six months waltzes in. She's never seen him at this lunch before and begins to wonder why he's even here. He looks around the cafeteria and spots her sitting all alone. Lena sees that he spotted her and immediately looks down.

He smiles to himself because of how cute he thinks she is and walks over to her. He pulls out the chair beside her and sits down.

"Hey." He says and waits for her to look up.

She looks up slowly from behind her blonde side bangs. "Oh, hey." She says and brushes the hair out of her eyes. _Where are Eve and Carson?_ She wondered to herself.

"I'm sorry about ditching you the other day." He said.

"Oh, uh, yeah, that's okay." She replied.

They both nodded and said nothing else. He didn't even explain why he didn't come back to get a ride from her.

"So, what are you doing for vacation?" He asked, scooting his seat a little closer to hers.

Lena's stomach twisted with nerves at his gesture. "Oh, I'm just... I'm just staying home. Maybe hang out with some of my friends."

"Lena!" Speaking of friends, Carson and Eve finally arrived at the cafeteria. They both sat down and the boy stood up.

"I'll see you later, Lena." He said and walked away.

He knew her name but she still didn't know his. The sound of her name escaping his perfectly sculpted lips sent a shiver down her spine.

"Who on earth was that?" Carson leaned across the table towards Lena. "He was gorgeous."

Eve agreed. "I've seen him around school a little before and I think I may have seen him in Hot Topic at the mall once but I've never talked to him. His eyes are stunning."

Lena shrugged. "I still don't know his name."

Carson's jaw practically hit the table. "He knows your name but you still don't know his?"

Lena shrugged again. "Mr. Hutch walked in when I was in the auditorium and called out my name."

"He was in the auditorium with you?" Eve squealed. "Doing what?"

"Not 'it' if that's what you're thinking." Lena smacked Eve's arm.

Carson giggled as well. "Well, you have to find out what his name is. He's definitely the hottest guy in this school."

"But doesn't he have a girlfriend?" Eve reminded everyone.

"Yeah, but she's a slut." Carson confirmed. "She's probably fucking his best friend right now as we speak in the Drama Club's costume closet. I hear that's the best place to get laid."

"Carson!" Lena shouted, shocked by her friend's comment, although Carson was always saying stuff like that.

"I bet it's true." She winked. "Who wants to find out?" Carson looked at Eve and Lena. Lena looked at Eve and Eve looked at Lena.

"Alright, let's go." Lena grabbed her bag and stood up from the table while Carson smirked, following along with Eve.


	5. Chapter Five

Lena was nervous to say the least. She had no real reason to be but for some reason she was. Maybe it was because she was sneaking off, skipping lunch and class, to bust the boy's girlfriend in cheating. What was this, Mean Girls?

She hiked her bag up higher on her shoulder as she followed Carson down the music hallway towards the Drama Club closet. Carson motioned for them to be quiet as she pressed her ear against the door. She grinned widely when she heard what was going on behind the door. She stepped back from the door to let Eve and Lena listen in. Lena's face contorted into a look of disgust as she heard what was happening behind the door.

Carson laughed quietly at Lena's facial expression and pushed her and Eve out of the way. She knocked on the door and waited for a reaction. The sex noises stopped and she could hear the girl saying something about possibly getting caught. Carson knocked again and the girl squeaked a little. Carson was doubled over laughing by this point.

"Carson, let's go." Lena urged. "We're going to be late for class!"

"You guys go. I want to see how much longer I can play along with this." Carson said, trying to calm her laughter.

Lena rolled her eyes at Carson and looked to Eve. "Are you staying too?"

Eve was trying to hold back a fit of giggles as well. "Well--"

"Okay, fine." Lena said, hiking her bag up on her shoulder again. "You two have fun."

Lena turned and left them in the hallway giggling and laughing over the girl and the guy in the closet behind the door. As badly as she wanted to have fun with her friends, she was afraid of getting in trouble with the school for harassing the two in the closet and for skipping class to harass them. She also didn't want any drama with the boy's girlfriend either. She was already in love with him and he appeared to like her, even if it's just a little bit. The last thing Lena needed in her life was drama.

The day went by pretty quickly after lunch and Lena, as usual, went to change into her dance clothes before heading down to the auditorium. Today, she decided to stretch to Avenged Sevenfold, so she set up her dock and turned the music up to as loud as it would go. She was using the front of the stage to stretch out her leg muscles when the boy came up behind her.

"Is that Avenged Sevenfold?" He asked.

Lena jumped and took her right leg off the stage. "Jesus Christ. You scared me. I didn't hear you come in."

"Oh, sorry." He said, lifting himself up onto the stage. "But good music choice. You like the Misfits?"

"Are you kidding me? Of course I do." Lena said, smiling. "I do often admire the t-shirts you wear to school."

Her eyes widened when she realized what she had said. "I mean--"

"Thanks." He took the compliment, smiling at her with the most perfect smile she had ever seen. She loved the way his eyes crinkled at the corners and his lips turned upward. "So, you going to still give me that ride?"


	6. Chapter Six

Lena pulled up in front of the boy's house and put the car in park.

"Thanks for the ride." He offered her a glistening smile. He began to get out of the car but Lena stopped him.

"Wait." She said to her own surprise as well as the boy's. "I think I deserve to know your name, at least."

He chuckled slightly. "Oh, it's Andy. I just assumed you knew my name already." He said.

"Oh..." Lena looked down at her lap, her cheeks beginning to grow warmer. Her body sensed he was staring at her. When she looked up again, her body had been right. "Why are you looking at me like that?" She asked. His facial expression was so soft and his eyes looked so inviting. He wasn't staring at her. Staring would have been too harsh of a word for the way he was looking at her.

"Can I take you out sometime?" He cocked his head to the side, raising one eyebrow, breaking the beautiful way he had been gazing at her.

Lena was a little confused and the way she reacted must've shown it, for Andy decided to correct himself.

"I mean as friends, of course." He added. "You know, like maybe a harmless movie or something?"

To Lena, a movie didn't sound all that harmless. It seemed to her that all guys resorted to a movie suggestion. She knew what guys tried to do once the lights went out. She had heard all the rumors about it in seventh and eighth grade. Some stupid, slutty, thirteen year old girl would go to the movies with her seventeen year old boyfriend. He would take her to the lamest, most unpopular movie out at the time, bring her up to the very back of the theater, and as soon as the lights went out, he would make his move. Of course it would start out as just kissing but soon it would escalate to much more and before you know it, the poor thirteen year old girl is being raped in a near empty movie theater.

Of course, both Lena and Andy were seventeen. She wasn't as easily manipulated as a thirteen year old girl but the thought still twisted Lena's stomach into knots. He hadn't even offered for her to pick somewhere to go. Usually the guy always says something along the lines of 'We can do whatever you want to do.'

"I have an idea." Lena began.

"I'm listening." Andy turned his body towards her, giving her his full attention.

Lena smiled at the idea she had in her mind. "There's this really cool place on the corner of Owl Street and Jersey Square. You wanna come with me? It'll be open mic night on Friday."

"Open mic?" Andy seemed interested. "That sounds like fun." He smiled.

"Awesome!" Lena smiled back. "I guess I'll pick you up at seven on Friday?"

"I'll see you before then." Andy said with a clear winky face heard at the end of his sentence. "But that sounds like a plan." He agreed, sliding out of the car and pushing the door shut behind him.

Lena watched him as he walked up the cobblestone pathway to his front door, turned around, waved, and then disappeared inside. She started the car up when he was gone, took one last look at the door in which he had entered, and drove off down the street away from him. She still couldn't believe that the boy who made her heart flutter every time he walked by in the hall way was now going out with her in a public place. Lena tried not to make it into a big deal. After all, it wasn't like he had asked her out on a date. He already had a girlfriend; a slutty one at that but a girlfriend nonetheless. But she thought maybe, just maybe, she could get him to change his mind.

The next day at school, Lena was so full of this warm, fuzzy feeling that she just couldn't contain it. She smiled at everyone who walked by her in the hall, even if she didn't know them. She greeted all of her teachers when she walked into their classrooms, even if she despised them. She walked with such pep in her step that she was practically skipping through the halls. But then, coming down the stairs towards her was a little reminder of why she shouldn't be as happy as she was. Lena shrunk against the railing and tried to speed by Andy's slutty girlfriend, Annabelle.

Something that Lena hated about Annabelle was that she thought her and Andy were so cute together. Lena only had once class with Annabelle but she knew how annoying she could get. Annabelle would always gush about how her and her boyfriend's names both started with the letter A.

"We were so meant to be." Annabelle would say, causing her friends to fawn over their cute relationship.

Though, it wasn't cute at all. Annabelle was super touchy-feely. She was always clinging to Andy and their PDA was horrendous. It made Lena want to gag. Lena knew Andy deserved better than her but it seemed he, nor anyone at this school, dated outside their clique or their group. And unfortunately for Lena, she wasn't in Andy's 'group'. Lena didn't have any guys in _her_ group.

"Lena." Annabelle said when she spotted Lena at the bottom of the stairs. "Rumor has it that you're going out with my boyfriend on Friday?"

"N-No. Who said that?" Lena backed up as Annabelle walked forward. Soon enough, her back was pressed up against the whitewashed concrete wall.

"My boyfriend himself said so. I overheard him talking to Jake, you know, his friend." Annabelle said as if Lena had no idea who Jake was.

"I know who Jake is..." Lena mumbled.

"Well, you're not going out with _my_ boyfriend." Annabelle drew out the word 'my' for extra emphasis and as if that emphasis wasn't enough, she drew back her hand and sent a stinging slap across Lena's cheek.

Tears instantly formed in the corners of Lena's eyes as the sting from the slap got worse. She could feel the hand print on her face begin to grow red with heat. Annabelle smirked and sauntered off, to find Andy, no doubt. Instead of going to class, Lena ran up the stairs and to the bathroom. She stared in the mirror at her welted face and let a few warm, salty tears sting the mark on her face even more. She wiped away the tears and texted Carson and Eve.

_2700's hallway bathroom. Now._


	7. Chapter 7

Lena didn't want to admit it, but Annabelle scared her. She didn't want to let Annabelle scare her, but she was just so forceful. Friday morning came fast and Lena wasn't sure what was up for that night. She hadn't talked to Andy since the night she dropped him off at his house. She wanted to assume they were still on. She didn't want to stand him up but she didn't want to randomly show up at his house and be that weird girl either.

When Lena was at her locker before the last class of the day, she saw Annabelle walk by without Andy which was quite a rare sight to see. She didn't appear to be upset which meant Andy didn't break up with her. Lena figured he must not be at school.

Lena watched Annabelle walk by and as soon as she was out of sight, Lena slammed her locker shut to find a surprise behind the door.

"Hey, there." Andy grinned.

"Jesus Christ, Andy." Lena held a hand up against her racing heart. "You scared the shit out of me."

Andy laughed. "Sorry, I was trying to be adorable like those hunky guys in the movies."

Lena rolled her eyes and started walking away from him. He quickly caught up. "Where are you going?"

"To class." Lena put bluntly. She clutched her books against her chest. Andy was actually walking with her in the hallway.

"Let me walk you there." He offered, still walking beside her.

Lena glanced at him. She saw something different in Andy. Just last week, he seemed to refuse to even admit that she was even there. Now he wanted to walk her to class. Could Andy actually be falling for her? Lena shook the thought from her mind. It couldn't be possible. As big of a bitch that Annabelle was, she was much prettier than Lena and Lena couldn't deny that.

"This is my class." Lena stopped in front of room 1703.

"I'll see you tonight, right?" Did Andy actually sound hopeful? Did Andy actually sound eager? Lena was surprised that he was seemed to be looking forward to that night.

"Yeah, I'll pick you up at seven like I had said." She smiled at him and then went into her classroom. It seemed Andy didn't know about her little encounter with Annabelle but none of that mattered to Lena anymore. Andy gave her confidence, something she never really had before. Lena felt as though no one could stop her from going out with Andy that night. This was her night to have fun. She wasn't about to spend it at home alone like she normally did.

***

Lena couldn't help but smile when she saw Andy skip down the front steps of his house and hurry over to her car. She was getting everything she ever wanted. And all she had ever wanted was him.

The ride there was silent for the most part except for the music that filled the empty air. The best part was that it wasn't even an awkward silence. Lena could be with Andy and feel completely comfortable with him in silence. To Lena, that meant a lot because she knew how hard it was to find someone you felt completely comfortable with, even in silence.

They pulled up to the small building and parked the car in the small parking lot.

"There's a lot of people here for such a small place." Andy observed by the amount of cars in the parking lot.

Lena, without thinking, took Andy's hand in her own and pulled him inside. Inside, it was like one big room. The lights were dim, making the room poorly lit. But that was what Lena liked about it. It set a specific mood. There were strange looking curtains hung all over the room in odd, careless ways. There was a long couch a little ways in front of them and in front of that was a coffee table dividing the space between the couch an a small raised part of the floor that was being used as a stage. There were people everywhere. Some sitting around the stage, others in various parts of the huge room. The air was saturated with the overpowering smell of, what else, but marijuana. Lena never smoked, and she could do without the smell, but she loved the place so much, she was willing to deal with it.

She led Andy over to the couch and sat down with him. A girl with blonde dreadlocks was just finishing her poem. People all over were snapping, and really getting into the whole scene.

"Thanks, Crystal." A tall, lanky guy with a gray beanie covering his short, chocolate brown hair, stepped up to the microphone. "Anyone else out there got something to perform for us?"

Lena had the worn out piece of paper in her back pocket, ready to go. She had been practicing this for months. "I have something." She raised her hand slightly as if she were in school, just so she could get the guy's attention.

He waved her up and she looked back at Andy as she stood up. He smiled at her, giving her more confidence. She stepped up on the stage and placed herself behind the mic. The lights were blinding on the stage. They were the only lights in the whole room that weren't dimly lit.

"Um, hi. My name is Lena. My poem is called The Semi Colon." She said into the microphone and stepped back a little, composing herself before starting:

_I view the world_  
through a creative  
mind's eye. 

_To me,_  
love is not just an emotion  
or a feeling. 

_Love is passion._  
Infinite sighs,  
short breaths,  
rapid heart beats,  
and fingertips against bare skin. 

_Skin against skin,_  
deep breaths,  
passionate sighs,  
sensual lips. 

She thought of Andy's lips and how nicely they would feel against her own. She looked out at him and saw those same lips turn up in a smile at her words, as if he knew she was thinking about him.

_The smell of your cigarette_  
lingering in the air  
above our heads. 

_With shaky hands,_  
you present me with this paper.  
The contents of your heart  
spilled out onto the thin  
blue  
lines. 

_Hot tears fall and stain the paper_  
as this final goodbye  
escapes your perfectly sculpted  
pink lips. 

_Those lips again._

_The final line,_  
written in your perfect script  
ended with a semi colon.  
I smile at the simple punctuation,  
through my blurring tears. 

_You leave me with a deeper meaning._  
You know I'll understand.  
A semi colon indicates a pause.  
So, darling, our story  
isn't over yet,  
is it. 

Everyone listening, snapped for her as she exited the stage and sat back down next to Andy. He stared at her in aw. "I had no idea you wrote poetry."

She shrugged. "You do now."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> poems are written by me.


	8. Chapter Eight

On Monday, Lena hadn't seen Andy or Annabelle all day which was extremely unusual. Andy was usually always at school and Annabelle was always glued to his side--except for lunch when she was fucking his friend Jake in the costume closet.

It was't until after school in the auditorium that Lena and Andy were finally reunited again. She'd been dreaming about his eyes and his lips all weekend. She practically wrote an entire poem about his lips and how mesmerized by them she was.

"Where have you been all day?" Lena asked when she saw Andy strut down the center aisle of the auditorium.

He shrugged. "Nowhere special. Just around."

Lena found that odd. They were getting to a point in their friendship where Andy usually told her where he was when he wasn't around at school. "Nowhere?"

He shrugged again and jumped up onto the edge of the stage. "So I was thinking about Friday night and I think I know you well enough to say that I have someone you would be perfect with. I want you to be involved with my other friends and I want them to know about you."

"So..." She led him into his next sentence.

"So, I think you should start dating Jake!" He exclaimed.

Her heart split into ten thousand sharp pieces that fell to the bottom of her chest. Each one pierced her skin and scratched the inside of her chest cavity. Her perfect guy, who she thought was actually into her, wasn't. He still loved the whore. If this is what being nice gets you, Lena didn't want to play nice anymore. She felt like Andy had used her in a way she had never thought someone could be used.

"Meet up with us tomorrow morning and I can introduce you guys to each other. How does that sound?" Andy asked.

Lena tried to cover up her feelings by putting on that happy mask but her skin was still the color of ivory. All the color had been drained from her face.

"Are you alright?" Andy tried to look into her eyes but she averted her gaze. Those eyes that once showed her hope now pierced her soul with agony. "You look sick all of a sudden." He commented.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. Tomorrow sounds great. But I have to go now. I have dance." Lena excused herself and hurried out the side door of the auditorium, leaving Andy alone.

As if her encounter with Andy hadn't been bad enough, her evening just got completely worse.

"Lena, you'll be with Sierra for the trust fall." Erin, Lena's dance instructor, ordered. "Alright, everyone's paired up? Let's practice. Aaaand, go."

Lena nervously looked back as she attempted to fall into Sierra's arms but ended up bending her knees and catching herself instead.

Erin walked over to Sierra and Lena briskly. Erin had a lot of work to do on this dance and she didn't have time to correct Lena on something she already knew how to do. "Straight knees, Lena. Sierra will catch you. Don't worry."

"Yeah, Lena. What's wrong? You don't trust me?" Sierra had that sinister, sly tone to her voice.

In actuality, Lena didn't trust her. How could she trust Sierra? Sierra was the queen bitch of the dance studio. She had one best friend, sidekick, Kendall. Everyone else hated them both. Sierra scared Lena. Whether it was because she was a threat on the dance floor or because she was manipulative, Sierra couldn't be trusted. Not even in a trust fall.


	9. Chapter Nine

“Lena, this is Jake.” Andy introduced the two.

Jake nodded once slightly and smiled; one ear bud in and one dangling on the white, skinny cord hanging by his side. Lena forced a slight smile back to be polite.

A few minutes of very awkward silence passed between the two before Lena noticed the hallway crowds begin to thin out which meant first period was about to start.

“I should get to class.” Lena finally said, adjusting her bag on her shoulder.

“Let me walk you there.” Jake interjected.

Lena just nodded a little as she turned and Jake followed. They walked together down the hallway but barely a word passed between them.

“I really would like to get to know you better.” Jake blurted out as they were approaching Lena’s class.

“Yeah, same.” Lena stated simply. She wasn’t sure why but Jake made her uncomfortable. Maybe it was because she knew about his little fling with Annabelle. He seemed nice so what reason was there for her to feel awkward? There really wasn’t one.

Later on that day, Lena had asked her study hall teacher if she could spend that hour in the library. She really didn’t have any friends she could talk to in her class. The library would be a good place for her to get Carson and Eve to meet with her.

Eve: **Can’t. Got a test.**

Carson: _Teacher won’t let me leave._

Lena sighed, settling down at one of the round tables in the library. She set her bag down by her feet and took out her notebook, setting it on the table in front of her and opening it to a new page. She knew she should work on her homework but instead she ended up sketching out a unique, intricate design of swirls on the lined paper. After twenty minutes, she had covered at least half the page.

“What are you drawing?” A voice from behind startled her.

“Oh, Jake. It’s you.” She said as he pulled out a chair and sat down next to her. “It’s nothing. Just something stupid I—”

“Whoa.” He cut her off. “That’s not stupid. That’s really cool. How’d you do that?”

Lena cracked a real smile this time. “I just… drew a swirl, like this.” She drew a swirl on the paper.

“Well, all of them altogether like that looks awesome. Looks almost as if your paper is blooming or something. That would make an awesome tattoo.” He complimented. “What are you doing in the library?”

She shrugged. “I didn’t want to sit in study hall so I asked if I could come here. What are _you_ doing here?”

“I’m here with my class.” He explained. “But I saw you sitting over here all alone and decided to ditch my class to sit with you instead.”

“How sweet.” She joked, laughing a little.

He laughed a little as well before changing the subject. “So, I was wondering…” He scooted his chair a little closer to hers. “If you’re up for it, would you maybe want to go out with me tonight? Like, maybe a movie or something?”

There was the movie idea again. Lena still couldn’t understand why guys always resorted to a movie. Movies weren’t the only thing you could do. And you can’t even talk to each other at the movies.

“Or whatever you want to do.” He added quickly.

This took Lena by surprise. Maybe Jake actually did like her. When Andy had asked her to hang out, he never offered to let her pick something; even though she ended up picking in the end anyway.

“Well, I know this is going to sound completely white girlish,” Lena began, “But have you ever been to Starbucks?”

Jake smiled. “No, I can honestly say I haven’t.” He leaned back in his chair, suavely.

“Well, we can meet up at the one in the mall and maybe go to Hot Topic or something. And if you still desperately want to see a movie, we can do that too.” Lena poked fun at him a little more.

“Coffee with a beautiful girl, my favorite store and the possibility of a movie? Could it get any better than that?” Jake nudged her arm a little.

Lena had to admit to herself that Jake was charming. He treated her so differently than Andy did. She liked the attention he gave her. She liked his compliments and his sweet attitude towards her. Andy was so much different. When she was with him, it seemed like he might like her. Maybe all that was holding him back was Annabelle. But now Lena began to think she liked Jake more than she expected to.


	10. Chapter Ten

Lena only lived with her mom and her younger brother. Her mom never really paid much attention to her now that Lena was already seventeen. Lena didn't mind that much, though. It gave her the opportunity to do pretty much whatever she wanted and not have to worry about her mother being on her back all the time like Eve's mom was. Sometimes, she did wish her mom would give her that extra hug or say goodnight to her before she went to bed, but otherwise, Lena couldn't complain.

She got in her car and started towards the mall to meet Jake. They had agreed on meeting at five-thirty and of course it was just about that time when Lena got in her car. She had meant to leave earlier than that but she had gotten distracted by things on the internet and lost track of time. She sped through every green light and became exceedingly frustrated with every red light she came to. Her phone started singing to her, signalling that Jake had texted. She picked her phone up at a red light and quickly checked the message.

Jake: _Hey, I'm here. Are you?_

Lena groaned as the light turned green again and she set her phone down so she could drive the last few miles to the mall parking lot. As she pulled her car into a space and got out of the driver's side, and immediate wave of nerves hit her stomach.

"Stop, you're not nervous. It'll be fine." She told herself as she locked her car and made her way across the parking lot.

Lena: **I'm walking in now**

She pulled the glass door open and walked straight in but didn't see Jake. He hadn't replied to her text and he wasn't anywhere to be seen in the store. Her biggest fear popped into mind. He had stood her up.

"Lena!" She heard a familiar voice call out to her.

She looked up from her phone and saw Jake walking over to her. She smiled and walked over to him. "I thought you had stood me up or something."

Jake laughed. "No, I would never do that to you!"

Lena was beginning to feel a little better. Her nerves went away when she saw him standing in front of her. He was just so nice and she couldn't understand why anyone would be that nice to her. She wasn't anything special.

"So, suggest something for me to get from Starbucks. You're the expert here." Jake looked down at her.

"Well, you should definitely get a frappuccino. Get the mocha one. It's amazing." She suggested.

"Okay, do you want one? I'll pay." He offered, pulling his wallet out of his pocket.

"Oh, that's okay, Jake. I can pay for myself." Lena said, pulling out her own wallet.

Jake put his hands on his hips in a sassy pose and cleared his throat to get Lena to look at him. She burst out laughing at the sight of him. "No, Lena. Let me pay for you. I really don't mind. Besides, the guy is always supposed to pay on a date."

So, this was a date. Lena wasn't completely sure he was serious but she wanted to believe he was. No one had ever shown this much interest in her before.

Lena just sighed her defeat and Jake went to go pay for the coffee. When he returned to her side, they decided to make their way to Hot Topic.

"It's my favorite store of all time." Lena had said between sips of her coffee-esque drink.

Jake smiled at her. He thought everything she did or said was really cute. He couldn't believe he had never noticed her before. She was one of those genuine girls. She was modest, funny, had great music taste and was really sweet. She was like a breath of fresh air to him. Annabelle was really the only girl in his friend group and she was such a burden on him. Andy wouldn't give her what she wanted and Jake was a pushover who let her do with him what she wanted. Lena made him much more confident in himself. They had only been together for twenty minutes and he was already feeling happier than he had felt in a long time.

They entered the store through the big arch at the front and into the rather dimly lit store. Lena led them in and Jake followed her. He watched her weave in and out of display cases and racks of clothing. Then he saw her stop and gaze up at the big wall of band t-shirts at the back of the store. He walked over and stood by her, looking up as well.

Lena gasped. "I love that band!" She pointed to an AFI t-shirt in the plastic display case.

"You should get it." Jake encouraged.

He saw her pout a little. Lena was always unsure about spending money. She always wanted to buy everything in the whole store but she was always wary about spending her money on things. "I don't know..." She trailed off.

He saw her hesitation. "I'll buy it for you."

She looked up at him. "No, Jake. You really don't have to do that for me."

He chuckled. "I want to. Pick your size."

She gave him a grateful smile as she picked up a t-shirt from the mesh, metal rack that jutted out from the wall. Jake was trying really hard to impress Lena and Lena could tell. He wanted her to like him but the thing was, she already did like him.


	11. Chapter Eleven

"So, are you and Jake official yet?" Eve asked as her and Carson stood with Lena in the line leading into the auditorium for the senior class assembly.

It was the question that everyone wanted to know the answer to--even Lena. Since her date with Jake the other night, he had continually met up with her at various points during the school day. He treated her as a girlfriend but it was never made official.

"Why don't you just ask him if you guys are official yet?" Carson suggested.

Lena shook her head vigorously. "No, I tried that already. And I chickened out every time." It was true, Lena had attempted to ask him about their relationship status but she wasn't exactly sure how to word it correctly. "This is taking forever. I'm going to the bathroom." Lena quickly changed the subject. "If they let you guys in before I get back, save me a seat." The two girls nodded as Lena walked down the hallway away from them.

As Lena passed the janitors' hallway, she heard two arguing voices that she knew didn't belong to the janitors. She stopped, backtracked, and began to listen in on the conversation.

"Please, just, leave me alone, Annabelle. You have Andy. I don't see why you need me so badly." Jake said.

"But Jake!" Annabelle exclaimed with an overly dramatic, whiny voice.

"Look, I really like Lena. I don't want to fuck up with her. She's unlike any other girl at this school and I know that if we keep this up, she'll find out and I'll lose her." Jake explained.

Lena felt her heart racing in her chest and a warm blush creep up on her cheeks at Jake's endearing words. He was standing up to Annabelle for her.

"Come on, let's go." She heard Jake continue. "We're going to be late for the assembly."

Lena's eyes widened. She totally forgot about the assembly and now Jake and Annabelle would know she had been eavesdropping on their conversation about her.

"Jake, wait." Annabelle said.

This was her chance. Lena dashed down the hallway and back into the lobby where her friends were still waiting for her in line.

"Have a nice pee?" Carson joked.

Eve laughed with Carson but quickly noticed Lena hadn't been laughing along with them. "Lena, what's wrong?" Eve questioned.

Lena began explaining what had happened on her way to the bathroom and how she stumbled upon Jake and Annabelle's conversation.

"I told you he likes you!" Eve exclaimed. "I'm sure he'll make it official soon enough. Maybe he's nervous too." The girls all sat down in a row about half way back from the front. Lena sat on the end, leaving one seat open beside her.

Jake being nervous was a possibility but something was telling Lena that wasn't the reason. Lena was thinking the reason was walking towards the empty seat next to her.

"Mind if I sit here?" Andy gave her a charming smile as he was already beginning to sit down without an answer.

"Sure, I guess." Lena moved her bag to the other side of her to give Andy more room.

The loud roar of the crowd of gossiping teenagers hushed to a light murmur as their principal stepped onto the stage.

"Just a few words before I hand it over to your class advisor, Mr. Bates." The principal began.

Lena tried her best to pay attention but just knowing Andy was sitting right beside her made her train of thought wander--as well as her eyes. Every so often, she couldn't help but steal glances over at him.

The assembly clapped as the principal handed the microphone over to Mr. Bates. "Thank you, Mr. Norton." Mr. Bates said.

Lena was fond of Mr. Bates. He had been her math teacher in eighth grade and now he was her senior class adviser. Mr. Bates was one of the younger teachers at the school and all the girls loved him.

"Seniors," He addressed the crowd. "As you know, the end of the year is fast-approaching which means graduation and more importantly for some of you, prom."

Lena rolled her eyes at the thought of prom. No one had asked her and no one was going to ask her. She didn't see a point in going. There was a month left of school. Tickets went on sale next week for two weeks only and Lena had no money for that. Besides, all the dresses had been taken anyway. She knew that finding a dress that another girl didn't have would be impossible.

Mr. Bates blabbed on and on about graduation and prom. He talked about the importance of finishing up strong academically and getting tickets and permission slips for tickets. "And finally, Jake Pitts has a little announcement for us." Mr. Bates stepped aside as Jake and his friend James walked on stage with guitars.

Lena looked to Andy who appeared to be just as curious as she was. "I'd like to dedicate this song to Lena Goldfield." Jake said into the microphone.

Carson hit Lena's arm and she looked over at her friend who's eyes were glued to the two boys on stage.

As Jake and James strummed their guitars, Lena realized Jake was playing her favorite song by AFI. "How did he know--" She began.

"I told him." Andy interrupted her.

She looked over at Andy in surprise. "But how did you know that this was my favorite song?"

Andy chuckled. "You told me. You don't remember that? In the car when you brought me home?"

Lena thought back to the night of their semi "date" and realized she had told Andy a lot more than she thought she did.

As Jake finished the song, he stood up at the microphone and a big flat came tumbling down from the ceiling, with the word "Prom?" painted across it.

"Go up there, Lena! Go!" Her friends encouraged.

Lena stood up from her seat and ran up to the stage, skipping up the steps and running at Jake, tackling him in a hug. He looked her in the eyes and into the microphone said "Lena, will you go to prom with me?"

Lena nodded furiously and hugged him some more. She never expected to be asked in this way or asked at all. It was true, Lena Goldfield was going to prom.


	12. Chapter Twelve

Jake was being overwhelmingly sweet to Lena and she couldn't take any more of it. It was cute, yes, and she enjoyed the attention, but she felt like she wasn't deserving of any of it.

It was Friday morning, the last day to buy prom tickets, and Lena was freaking out. Her mother had written out a check for 120 dollars for Lena to give to Mr. Bates. Her mother was making Lena pay for both tickets after she heard about the elaborate prom proposal.

“Lena, think about how much time he must've spent planning that all out.” Her mother said sternly. “And not to mention the money he spent to make that banner.”

“He probably just borrowed stuff from the Drama Club—”

But Lena's mom refused. “You're going to be a good prom date and pay for his ticket.”

“And the dress, and pay Eve for the limo? Mom, that's almost three-hundred dollars we're talking.” Lena complained. And she had good reason to. Prom was expensive and she didn't have the money to pay for it. She hadn't even wanted to go in the first place.

“Get a job.” Her mother stated.

Lena rolled her eyes at the memory and continued to aimlessly rearrange the books and binders in her locker. She was looking for every way possible to avoid going to class.

She felt something light hit the top of her head and she instinctively reached up but then Jake came into view. He held a piece of white lined paper folded up with her name on it.

“Here.” He handed it to her and she took it.

“What's this?” She asked, looking down at her name scribbled across the folded paper.

“Just a note.” The response was way too vague and the gears in Lena's mind instantly began turning. She started making a list of all the possible things it could be.

“Okay, well, I'll read it later.” She stuck the note in her back pocket.

“Jake!” Andy walked by without even acknowledging Lena. This seemed to be becoming routine for Andy. He hooked Jake into a conversation as he was passing by and Jake joined his side, walking away from Lena.

Lena slammed her locker shut and walked the opposite way down the hallway towards her class. She couldn't believe Andy. He just acted like she didn't exist. He even started talking to Carson and Eve, now that the three girls were somewhat part of his friend group, yet he pretended she wasn't there.

The curiosity about Jake's note was killing her. She had to know what it said. She sat in the back of the room and secretly took the note out of her back pocket. She looked at her name on the paper once more before unfolding the paper and reading the words on the page.

_Lena,  
I was writing just randomly about you a few nights ago because I couldn't get you off my mind and I was nervous about asking you to prom. I don't know why I wrote this or why I decided to give this to you. I know it kind of sucks. I'm not a writer like you are. So, okay, here it is:_

_Lena is unlike any other girl I've ever met. She's modest and doesn't try to be anyone else but herself. She has beautiful blue eyes and blonde hair. Her smile—_

She stopped reading. Jake was being cute again and she was being driver over the edge. She liked Jake a lot so she couldn't understand why she was annoyed with this. Either way, she had to keep reading.

_Her smile is like an open door, leading to paradise. I tell her that she's beautiful, but she doesn't listen to me. She denies it all the time. She may not be beautiful to herself, but to me, she's beautiful outside and inside. I wish she wouldn't cut herself like she does._

Lena stopped again. How did Jake know about that? She hadn't ever told anyone about it before, not even Carson and Eve.

_She doesn't know I know. Well, she will but as of right now, she doesn't know. I saw the cuts and scars on her arms one night when we were together. I want to help her, but I don't know how. I know she has a difficult home life, with her mom not giving her attention and all..._

By the end of the letter, Lena was close to tears. Jake knew so much about her—more than she even knew about herself. Lena realized that she didn't know nearly as much about him as he knew about her.


	13. Chapter Thirteen

Lena carried Jake's note with her everywhere. It made her feel appreciated and wanted for once in her life. Jake knew so much about her and she hadn't even told him much about her life. He just sort of knew.

Jake knew that Lena didn't care for him as much as he cared for her. Not to say she didn't care for him at all. Either way, Jake made sure he was constantly checking up on Lena, without being up her ass all the time, and he wanted to always make her feel beautiful. He would write her notes when he could and tell her that she's gorgeous. He trained himself to be very observant around her and made sure he picked up on every little detail, every word, that she spoke. But he could tell she was distracted my something or, more importantly, someone.

It was true, Lena was distracted by Andy. She couldn't help herself. He was just so tall and handsome with his beautiful cheekbones, glorious blue eyes, and perfect pink lips. She loved the way he walked and the way he composed himself. He really was very intelligent and she loved that about him. But he wasn't into her. He loved Annabelle.

On her way to the dance studio that day, she thought of the times that Andy and her had spent in the auditorium. It came to her that she felt the same way about Andy that Jake felt about her. She felt a pang in her heart at the realization. She viewed Andy as perfection. She didn't think anyone could be as wonderful as him. Seeing him in the halls at school made her heart stop. He took her breath away with just a simple glance. She did the same things to Jake when he saw her every day.

After parking in the poorly designed parking lot, Lena was already feeling down. Now she had to face Sierra and Kendall. Sierra would always be a ruthless, cold hearted person to Lena. But Lena knew a few things about Kendall that she didn't think many other people knew. She felt bad for Kendall, and the fact that she was roped in by Sierra.

"I heard she's dating that fag, Jake. You know, the one with the black hair who likes all that scary shit that she calls music."

Lena didn't even want to engage in an argument today. She was tired of dealing with everyone's bullshit and in about two weeks, they would be done with their recital and she could move on from the studio. She never had to go back after that.

She sat in the corner and put her jazz shoes on. Today was the class that she left early from and she couldn't be happier. She was going to meet up with Jake after class and she was actually really looking forward to it. She was hoping that dance would be able to get her mind off Andy and her mind on Jake.

Erin started class and the time flew by as usual. It was amazing that one hour could go by so fast. Lena felt like she was only in class for maybe twenty minutes at the most. Occasionally, she'd glance over at Kendall and think about all the things she knew about her. Recently, Lena had been sending anonymous messages to her on her ask.fm page because she felt bad about all the hate comments she was receiving. She didn't really know the whole story as to why people hated her so much but Lena, being the kind and caring person she was, felt bad that all these people were torturing this girl, even if she herself had tortured Lena in the past.

Lena wondered if Kendall knew it was her. She had asked once who it was but Lena refused to tell her. "I'm in one of your dance classes." Was all she had said. She didn't think Kendall would have a clue since to everyone in the entire class, Lena was invisible for the most part. It was weird for Lena to think that they both actually had something in common. Their best friend was a razor blade.

Once six o'clock rolled around, Lena snuck out the door so as to not interrupt class and hurried down the stairs to the lobby so she could grab her stuff and go to meet Jake. As she was putting her shoes on, her other dance teacher, who happened to be the owner of the studio as well, smiled at her as she walked by.

"Oh, Lena." She stopped and walked over to her. "I wanted to let you know that I think I'm going to put you on curtain this year for the recital. I chose you because I know you're reliable. You'll receive a headset and will be fed cues so you don't have to worry too much about knowing when to pull it closed or open it. But just stay backstage after your dances are over."

"Oh," Lena was incredibly surprised. She never thought that her dance teacher of almost eleven years would ever have said she was reliable. Lena though she was invisible to everyone at the studio, including her teachers. "Okay, wow, thank you. I appreciate the job."

Lena's life was being pulled in two different directions. One side was being guided toward a positive step in the right direction. The other was being dragged to hell.


	14. Chapter Fourteen

It was nearly impossible for Lena to avoid Andy because he was everywhere. Every corner she turned, every hallway. It was as if he was trying to torture her. But of course he wasn't really. He just happened to be in the right place at the right time.

She tried her hardest to get her mind off him. She guessed that technically she was dating Jake now. It was only fair to him that she think of him instead of Andy. There was just something about Andy that she was unknowingly drawn to. Andy was mysterious. She could never guess what he was thinking. He was spontaneous, exciting, interesting, and, of course, gorgeous.

But then there was Jake. He was sweet, caring, genuine, and was pretty cute himself. She tried her hardest to want Jake. He was everything she used to dream of. When she was a little girl, she would imagine a boy like Jake. One who would write sweet notes to her, text her good morning and goodnight, lightly kiss her in the rain, play guitar for her, throw rocks at her window and sneak out with her late at night. But now that she had all of that, she didn't want it anymore. She wanted Andy.

Lena's phone vibrated in her front pocket and when she looked at the screen, Jake had texted her. She smiled because she had just been thinking of him. It was as though he knew somehow. Then, she smiled wider at the message.

Jake: _Was just thinking of you :) How's your day been going?_

To think--to know--that they both had been thinking of each other at the same time reinforced good feelings in Lena towards Jake. Maybe they were supposed to be together and Andy was just a test to Lena; a test that she was quickly failing.

Lena's phone buzzed against the desk and she was quick to retrieve it.

Jake: _Think you could stop by my place after school today? I have a surprise._

Lena: **Sure :)**

She had no clue what the surprise could be. She just hoped it was a good surprise.

****

"I honestly want to murder you all." Lena mumbled as she pushed her way through the hallway after the last bell. "Okay, seriously, get out of my personal space." Eve and Carson joined her a few moments later.

"At least it's the end of the day!" Eve was always trying to be the optimistic one in the group.

"But it's only Tuesday." Lena grumbled. "Peasants..."

"Hey, Lena? Can you maybe give me a ride home? I need to meet with Mrs. Dutra really quick about a test I didn't do so hot on. It should only take a few minutes." Carson semi-pleaded.

Lena sighed slightly. "I guess so. I'll go wait outside." Lena pushed her way through the heavy school doors and outside into the cool breeze. The sun was warm and the breeze was cool. It was a nice mixture. She sat down on the half wall that went around the outside of the building and waited.

Nearly twenty minutes had gone by and Carson still wasn't out yet. She couldn't even imagine how badly Carson did on that test if it was taking this long. Lena could feel her body growing heavy by the warmth of the sun against her black sweatshirt. She hadn't been getting much sleep lately because of late nights at dance. She rested back against the warm stone of the wall and closed her eyes to protect them from the blinding sunlight. With one knee bent and the other straight, she rested her phone on her stomach and allowed the sun's rays to kiss her cold skin.

A shadow crossed in front of the sun and blocked the rays from reaching her. When she opened her eyes, the person standing over her wasn't the person she had expected. Yet again, she was looking up into those startling blue eyes.

"What are you doing?" Andy cocked his head to the side and smiled down at her.

His smile sent a wave of butterflies through her stomach and shooting up her veins. "Resting. What does it look like?" She sat up and Andy sat down next to her.

"Comfy." He chuckled.

A silence passed between them. Lena had that burning question in her mind that she had to know the answer to. Why had Andy been avoiding her. Every time she saw him in the hallway, she would glance his way, maybe even more than a glance, and hope that he would look at her so she could smile or say hi. But he would look straight ahead and act as though she wasn't there. She couldn't understand and she wanted to know why.

"Andy, I--" She began but his mouth stopped hers with a kiss. It was urgent but delightful. It was shocking but pleasant. It was unexpected but welcomed.

He quickly pulled away. "I don't know why I just did that."

Lena just stared at him. "I don't know why either."

"But..." He began. "I liked it." He admitted.

Lena looked down at her lap. "I liked it, too."

When she looked back up, Andy was subtly hinting that he wanted to do it again. And she did too. Their faces began to move in towards each other again.

"Oh my god, Lena, I am so sorry I took longer than I said I would." Carson burst through the doors and sat down by Lena. Her and Andy immediately pulled away and acted as if they had just been sitting there that whole time. "Are you ready to go?"

"Oh, um, yeah. Let's go." Lena grabbed her bag and stood up.

"Wait." Andy stood up as well. "Are you going to Jake's house?"

"After I drop Carson off, yeah. Why?" Lena swung her bag's strap over her shoulder.

"Mind giving me a ride there, too?"


	15. Chapter Fifteen

Lena felt her stomach drop as she pulled into Carson's driveway. As soon as Carson was gone, her and Andy would be left alone in the car.

"Bye Lena! Thanks for the ride!" Carson called back to her friend before entering the house.

"Off to Jake's?" Andy asked, smiling at Lena.

She couldn't handle his adorable smile. It was as though he knew what he did to her emotions. Just a glance could take her breath away.

"Off to Jake's." She repeated, backing out of Carson's driveway and zooming off down the street towards Jake's house.

Once they pulled up into Jake's driveway, neither of them moved. Lena was waiting for Andy to get out first and Andy was waiting for Lena to get out first. An awkward silence passed over them and Lena kept her eyes straight ahead. But out of the corner of her eye, she could see Andy staring at her with a small smirk on his face. She looked and smiled but quickly averted her eyes downward. Andy reached over and touched her hand, causing her to look up at him. His eyes flickered over her face, taking in every detail.

"Andy, wait." Lena pulled her hand away. "What are you doing?"

"Picking up where we left off." He said, reaching for her again.

Instinctively, she pulled back. "I can't do this to Jake. It isn't right."

"But didn't he do this to you?" Andy asked. "With Carson?"

"What?!" Lena was furious. Carson wouldn't do that to her. And Jake had already "cheated" once before. He wouldn't do it again.

"Yeah... He told me. I thought you knew." Andy sounded sympathetic.

Realization hit her square in the face. Jake had lied to Andy. He said it had been Carson instead of Annabelle. Lena knew Carson would never do that to her.

"So you would stoop down to Annabelle's level, too?" Lena said.

Andy sat rigid against his seat. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

Denial. "Shut up, Andy. Yes you do. Annabelle was cheating on you with your best friend before I came into the picture and deep down, you know it's true."

"Fuck you, Lena!" Andy raised his voice at her. "You're just jealous of her. I know how obsessed with me you are. So you have to go around making lies about my girlfriend?"

"Andy, I'm not lying!" She shouted at him as he got out of the car and slammed the door shut behind him.

The whole situation and the whole fight was all so strange. Andy had almost cheated on his girlfriend when his girlfriend had been cheating on him. And then he gets all mad about Lena saying his girlfriend was cheating on him when he was just about to do the same. Boys were always so confusing but there was no guy in the whole school as confusing as Andy. It seemed he didn't know what he wanted. Did he like Lena? Or was lust and infatuation taking over his mind when he looked at her?

The tears stung Lena's eyes as she watched Andy walk into Jake's house. She tried to hold the tears back but the lump in her throat grew bigger and she couldn't help but let each water droplet fall and splash against her acid wash jeans.

She looked at the door Andy had just entered through and watched it open as Jake came running outside to her car. She quickly wiped away the tears and running makeup as he knocked on her window. She rolled it down and the cool breeze soothed her heated face.

"What happened between you and Andy? He just stormed inside and said he left you in the car." Jake knelt down on the pavement and rested his head on his hands on the sill of the window.

Lena just shrugged Andy off. "We just got into an argument is all. It was nothing important."

Jake wanted to ask her why she was crying. He knew Andy must've said something to make her this upset. "Well... Let's go inside. I want to tell you about my surprise."

Lena nodded and opened the car door as Jake stepped aside to let her out. He took her by the hand and she rested her head in the crook between his neck and shoulder. With Jake, she felt safe. But with Andy, she felt dangerous and adventurous. She couldn't seem to decide which one she liked better. But after her fight with Andy, she didn't think he was worth all that trouble anymore.


	16. Chapter Sixteen

Jake handed her a CD. “Our first demo!” He smiled.

She could see the excitement in his eyes. “So what does this mean for you guys?” She forced a smile because she knew what he would say.

“We’re going to LA after graduation is over. The record thinks we have real potential.” Jake sounded almost sad. He didn’t want to leave Lena here all alone.

“That’s amazing, though! I’m so proud of you guys. Let me hear something.” She sat down on the ratty couch across from the ‘stage’ they had set up. Jake played lead guitar, Andy sang, James played rhythm guitar, and their friends Ryan and Kevin were on bass and drums.

They played her one of their original songs and her whole attention was on Andy. He was the lead singer after all which meant he was all up in her face but that wasn’t the reason she was so focused on him. Even after their fight in the car, she still wanted him to love her instead of Annabelle.

Lena clapped for them when they were finished. “That was amazing, you guys. I’m so proud of you.”

Jake swooped in and kissed her on the cheek. Andy insides raged with jealousy. But why should he be jealous? He had Annabelle, right? Right?

“Hey, Lena? Can I talk to you for a minute?” Jake came up to her after putting his guitar away and took her by the hand. He led her out of the room and into the small hallway. “Look, I have something really important to say.” He took both her hands in his own and looked down at them.

She looked at his downcast eyes and knew what was coming next. He was breaking up with her. This was it. He would say something along the lines of, let’s have a great time at prom but once I leave for LA, we can’t continue this. Part of her was already upset but half of her was a little happy. She liked Jake a lot. It was possible she loved him. He treated her exactly the way she deserved to be treated. He gave her everything she always wanted. He was perfect. But Andy had always been in the back of her mind.

“I want you to look at me when you tell me.” She said, lifting her hand and pushing his chin up so his eyes met hers.

He took in a deep breath before looking right into her eyes. “I love you, Lena.” It was the first time he had ever said all three words. Sure, he had said ‘love you’ when they parted ways in the hallways at school but it had never been all three words. As minimal as it seemed, it was life changing for her. “And,” He continued. “I want you to come to LA with us. Think about it. You can go to college part-time, join a dance company, be on the Vegas strip as a professional dancer, and work for us as a merch-girl. We can still be together and we don’t have to break off this relationship. I don’t want to lose you.”

She didn’t want to lose him either but she wasn’t sure if she really wanted the relationship to continue or if she just wanted to keep Jake as her friend. She briefly thought about all the opportunities she could be offered by heading to LA with the boys. She would still be around Andy, too. It would mean more confusion for her already confused brain but LA could also be eye opening.

“I’ll go with you.” She agreed.

The smile on Jake’s face was so wide, she thought his cheeks would burst. He kissed her so passionately that she could feel the lust seeping into her body through her pores and with each exchange of saliva. As Jake continued to kiss her, she became more and more involved in him. She let his presence wrap around her like a blanket and keep her safe from Andy’s adventure.

Was this really what she wanted or was it just a safe haven? It was the question that had been haunting her mind ever since her and Jake started becoming really serious and it would be a question that she would ponder for a very long time.

“Are you going to do the senior switch tomorrow?” Jake asked when he pulled away from her.

Oh, yes, the senior switch. She had completely forgotten about that. “Oh yeah… Are you doing it?”

Jake nodded. “It’s going to be so awesome. We should carpool. You, me, Andy, James, Carson, Eve and Annabelle. It would be really fun!”

“I don’t know if my car will hold that many people.” She laughed a little.

“We can always shove James in the trunk.” Jake joked and Lena laughed.

“I’m sure we can have people double buckle.” Lena suggested. The senior switch would definitely be an interesting day.


	17. Chapter Seventeen

The morning of the senior switch was like any other morning, really. The only difference was that Lena had to drive all around town picking everyone up, including Annabelle. She really only agreed to it because of Jake. Jake seemed so excited about getting everyone together and she didn't want to ruin his excitement.

After she had picked everyone up at each of their houses, the group drove over to the meeting place. The Stop N Shop parking lot. How classy.

"Lena, turn the radio up. I love this song!" Annabelle squealed from the back seat.

Lena groaned. She hated anything to do with Ke$ha and that was the last thing she wanted to listen to at six-thirty in the morning. "No, I hate th--"

Jake reached over and turned the knob almost all the way up. Lena reacted quickly and turned the knob back down. "Noooo." She said.

"Come on, Lena. Can't we have a little bit of fun?" Carson said, the party animal of the group.

"I can't concentrate on driving with the music that loud. You think getting in a car accident is having fun?" Lena had a point.

When they pulled into the parking lot, they were all amazed at how many people actually decided to show up. The well-known "bad kids" were there, the popular kids, the outcasts like themselves and even a few "goody-two shoes" showed up as well. Lena was amazed that her high school class could actually organize an event like this and get everyone to come together as one to make it happen.

"Alright guys, gather round!" Kyle, the master mind behind the plan, announced.

All fifty to seventy kids gathered around Kyle standing on top of his car with a bullhorn. "MHS class of 2013!" He shouted into the megaphone. "The time has come for us to storm the castle. LHS is a bunch of pussies who dropped out of this awesome senior prank and they think we're too soft to go through with it. Let's show them that MHS has the balls to go through with something so epic."

Everyone cheered and dispersed, getting into cars and following Kyle's car out of the parking lot and to LHS. As they pulled into the parking lot of LHS, Lena knew that the plan was already unraveling. The LHS students knew all those people getting out of their cars weren't kids who went to this high school. And the fact that they all were going in as a group was even more obvious. They all piled into the lobby and then heard Kyle shout "Go!" and everyone started running.

Jake grabbed Lena's hand and pulled her in a random direction. The two ran down the long, skinny hallway and entered a random classroom.

"Hey, you two aren't in my homeroom." The teacher said as soon as she saw the two. "Get to your own homerooms."

Jake and Lena looked at each other and then turned around and ran back down the hallway. "Hey, down this way!" Jake shouted but Lena couldn't hear him. He ran down that hallway and when Lena looked around for him, he was gone.

Panic ran through her body. Jake was gone and now she was alone in a school she'd never been to before. The only thing she could think of doing was to run. She hoped maybe she would find an exit somewhere.

She passed by a group of girls at their locker who gave her a nasty look as she ran by. She passed a group of guys further down the hall who called out to her, and tried to hit on her as she ran by them. At the end of the hallway, she turned the corner and found herself in an empty corridor. It was so silent in that one hallway. The sounds of her footsteps reverberated off the walls and made an echo.

She started to panic again. It wasn't natural to have a random, abandoned hallway in the middle of a bustling high school.

"I want everyone who doesn't attend this high school out of this building immediately!" She heard a very masculine voice yelling in the hallway she had just been in. His voice sounded close and she figured he must be coming to check and see if any student was hiding in the abandoned hallway. She took slow steps backward, not wanting him to catch her by surprise from behind. Her breathing picked up and she felt the adrenaline rush. She kept backing up further and further until two hands shot out of an indent in the wall and grabbed her, pulling her into the indent with them.

She wanted to scream but the person put their hand around her mouth. "Don't say anything." It was a boy. "It's me, Andy."

Lena turned her body around in the small space and looked right into Andy's eyes. They were crammed into such a tiny space that their bodies were pushed up against one another's. Andy was getting to her again. His skinny torso was pushed up against hers, his arms were on either side of her, supporting himself, and their faces were so close to one another that their noses almost touched.

"What are you doing in here?" Lena whispered.

"Hiding." Andy smiled, then put his index finger to his lips to cue Lena to be quiet. They both looked to their right out into the hallway and saw the man Lena had heard yelling walk by slowly. The crevice they were tucked into was dark so he couldn't see them.

"I think he's gone." She whispered as soon as the man was out of sight and his footsteps were no longer heard.

"There you guys are!"

Lena let out a small, short scream and looked to see Jake standing in the hallway in front of them. "I've been looking all over for you two. Let's get out of here."

Lena shimmied her way out of the indentation in the wall and Andy followed. Jake took Lena's hand in his own and linked their fingers together. He didn't want to admit it to himself or anyone else that he felt extreme jealousy wash over him when he saw his best friend and his girlfriend crammed up against each other like that. He wanted to think that there wasn't anything between Lena and Andy but he knew that Andy had some sort of attraction to her and he could see Lena felt the same.


	18. Chapter Eighteen

“Nothing is going as I planned! This is horrible.” Lena sulked as her blonde hair fell out of the curl that she had just tried to make stay. No matter what she did, she couldn’t get her hair to stay the way she wanted. “And I still need to paint my nails and get my makeup done and get my dress on.” She growled at herself in the mirror, holding the curling iron close to her head. After the tenth attempt at trying to get her hair to stay in curls, she gave up and furiously dialed her mom’s number.

“Lena, what do you want? I’m a little busy right now.” Lena’s mom was always very nasty towards her when she called for anything.

“My hair won’t stay. I can’t get it to do what I want.” Lena stated.

“Oh, would you stop whining?” Her mother complained. “I can’t help you right now. Call your Aunt Karen, maybe she can help you.”

Lena rolled her eyes at her mother’s response. “Fine.” She said, and hung up the phone. She dialed her Aunt Karen who happily agreed to come over and help her with her hair. At least someone was willing to help her. After her hair was done, makeup was done and her dress and shoes were on, she posed for a few pictures before heading off to Jake’s house to pick him up.

She stepped out of the car when she arrived at his place and he immediately opened the door and walked out onto the lawn to greet her, holding a plastic box in his hands containing her corsage.

“This is for you.” He said, handing her the box. “You look beautiful, by the way.”

She opened the plastic box and removed the corsage. “Jake, it’s beautiful. Thank you so much!” She hugged him tightly.

Jake’s parents took many pictures and then let them go on their way over to Eve’s house where everyone in their party was meeting to catch the limo to the hotel where prom was being held.

Being in Jake’s friend group now meant that Andy would be in their party which also meant Annabelle would be in their party. She looked just as awful in her prom dress as she did normally. Her hair was all teased up, her makeup was thick and dark, her dress had too much tulle, and she looked like an overall train wreck. Lena couldn’t understand why Andy liked her so much. She didn’t see what he somehow saw in her.

****

“Come on, you know how to dance. Teach me how to dance!” Jake tried taking Lena’s hand to pull her up from her chair.

“Good lord…” She grumbled. She hated when people assumed she could just magically teach them how to dance because she danced herself. “I just don’t feel like dancing right now, Jake. I’m sorry.” She looked from him over to Andy and Annabelle.

“Come on, Lena. It’s prom. You have to dance. It’ll be fun. Please?” Jake pleaded but still she just didn’t feel like it. She was in a weird sort of mood.

“I need to get some air. I’ll be back.” She stood up.

Jake started to follow. “Want me to come with you?”

Lena grabbed Carson’s hand and pulled her away from her date. “No, that’s okay. Carson will come with me.”

Lena dragged Carson out of the grand ballroom and down the hallway towards the doors they had entered. There were a bunch of other kids outside as well, just hanging out. Lena didn’t know why she was feeling the way she did. It sucked to feel negative on prom night. She knew she was letting Jake down and she felt bad.

“Lena, what’s wrong?” Carson sat on the stone wall behind them.

Lena shook her head. “I don’t know. I just don’t feel right. I’m not sick or anything. I just… I can’t explain it. I just needed some air and to get away from Jake for a minute. He’s been suffocating me all night.”

Carson hopped off the wall and put her hands on Lena’s shoulders. “Take a few deep breaths and close your eyes. Everything will be okay. Go back in there, dance with Eve and Jake and me, and just have fun. I know you’re thinking about Andy. Don’t.”

Lena opened her eyes and nodded. “You’re right. Let’s go.”

When they went back inside, their class advisor was announcing the grand march was to start and everyone needed to line the sides of the room. Carson and Lena frantically searched for their dates. Carson found hers but Lena couldn’t find Jake. She walked deeper into the room, looking for him while the class advisor yelled at everyone to move to the sides of the room.

“Lena! Over here!” Jake called out.

She hurried over to his side and held his hand tightly in her own. Carson was right. She didn’t need to think about Andy. As long as she focused on Jake and having fun, it would be a good night. Once the grand march was over, they announced the court, the king and queen. Lena sat there and rolled her eyes at every name that was announced. None of them deserved to win. They only won because of their popularity.

“Dance with me?” Lena looked up to see Andy standing in front of her, holding his hand out for her to take.

“Andy, this is the slow song. Shouldn’t you be dancing with your girlfriend?” Lena pointed out.

Andy smirked. “Nah, she left. She said she wasn’t feeling well and I wanted to stay. Dance with me?”

Lena looked around for Jake but strangely he had disappeared as well. “Fine. But as soon as Jake comes back, I’m dancing with him. He [i]is[/i] my boyfriend after all.”

Andy escorted Lena out to the dance floor and put his hands around her waist. She draped her arms around his neck and made it a point not to look at him. She didn’t want him pulling anything on her.

“Lena.” Andy said, catching her attention.

He caught her eyes with his own and held her gaze. His eyes refused to let hers go. He glanced down at her lips and back up at her eyes. He started to move in and instinctively she did the same. Their lips hovered over one another, their breaths catching in their throats and the intimate moment.

“Lena?” A confused, and sadly surprised Jake stared, open mouthed at his girlfriend and best friend. It was just that much more reassurance that Andy and Lena definitely had something for each other.

“Shit, Jake, it’s not what it looks like, I swear.” Lena pushed Andy away from her and rushed over to Jake. She took his hand but he pulled away harshly.

He shook his head at her and turned to walk away. Lena just stood there and watched him walk away from her. She could feel the tears forming and she blinked them back as best she could. Eve hurried over to her, putting a manicured hand on her shoulder. “Come on,” She said. “Let’s go find him and explain, alright?”

Lena nodded solemnly. She couldn’t believe Andy. It was all the more reason to hate him. He was trying to break her and Jake up. He only cared about himself.


	19. Chapter Nineteen

"Jake, come back! Please!" Lena held the skirt of her dress up with one hand as she tried running after Jake in her four inch heels. Eve was close behind her.

"I was in the bathroom for fucks sake, Lena." Jake whipped around, his hair forming a big swoop across his forehead. "I left you for not even five minutes and you're already with some other guy who just happens to be my best friend? I knew there was something going on between you two." His eyes held anger, jealousy and a hint of sorrow. He truly did love her. But she didn't seem to love him back.

"Jake, please. Come on, don't do this to me." Lena moved closer to him but Jake stayed stationary.

He shook his head slightly. "How do you expect me to believe anything you say anymore? This is the third time I've caught you and Andy doing something remotely close to romantic. How do you think I feel?"

Lena felt tears form behind her eyes. It was so hard for her to really decide what she wanted. She always came back to Jake, no matter what happened with Andy. Maybe it was because she wanted to be with him more than Andy.

"Jake, please. I... I love you." It even surprised her that she had said it back to him. She remembered the time when he had told her he loved her and she hadn't been ready to say it back. She still wasn't sure if she had been ready to say it back.

"No, you don't." Jake didn't believe her. He was beginning to think that there was no point in believing anything she said. Everything she said to him had been a lie anyway. From outside, a car horn was sounding, signalling Jake's ride was there to pick him up early. "I'll talk to you tomorrow, Lena." He turned, walked out the big, glass doors of the building, and left her.

***

A few days had gone by since prom and Jake hadn't answered or returned any of Lena's phone calls. He never called her the next day and she began to worry.

"Lena, let's go! You're going to be late for your call time!" Her mother commanded.

Lena grumbled to herself as she shut down her computer and threw her phone into her dance bag. It seemed it was no use. She had let herself become wrapped up in Andy. He was one of the seven deadly sins. He was lust. Lena gave into the temptation of lust and now found herself condemned to Hell, with no way of repenting.

As if Jake ignoring her wasn't enough, she had to deal with Sierra and her advocate, Kendall. It was finally the time of their dance recital and Lena couldn't have been more excited. Not only was she excited that it would be the last time she ever had to dance with Sierra, but she was always excited when it came to shows. She enjoyed the thrill of performing. Now only if Jake would come.

"Places, ladies. We're starting!" Someone from backstage called.

Lena hit her pose and waited for the curtain to open. As the music started, the curtain opened, and the dance began, Lena smiled widely but not wide enough. She still missed Jake and he was still on her mind. She scanned the crowd, looking for familiar faces, but she didn't see any, and her smile faded a little more.

The door at the back of the theater opened and closed, letting the light into the dark auditorium as the person entered. He took the nearest seat he could find, all the way in the back. There would be no way anyone would see him there.

Lena exited the stage when the dance was over and ran past the younger children backstage waiting to get to the dressing room to change for her next dance. She had ballet next and the costume was such a pain to change into. She checked her face in the mirror quickly and then went to grab her ballet shoes. She rummaged through her bag, sticking her head far in and seeing no ballet shoes. A wave of panic washed over her. They weren't there.

"No, no, no. They have to be here. Where are they? Shit." She began removing each item she had in her bag only to find the bag completely empty at the end, with no ballet shoes. "I can't go on if I don't have them." She said to herself.

"That's right, you can't, can you?" Sierra's nasty voice sounded from the doorway.

"You took my shoes?" Lena wasn't surprised when she knew Sierra had taken them, but again, she didn't think Sierra would do something that mean either.

"Looks like I'll just have to fill in for your solo part. Oops." Sierra sent her an evil smirk, flipped her ponytail and sauntered out.

Lena had worked so hard for that solo part in the dance and now she couldn't even go on stage without her shoes. She sat against the cold, concrete wall and fanned her eyes so she wouldn't cry and mess up her makeup. It seemed it was true. She was in Hell.


	20. Chapter Twenty

All she could do now was sit in the corner of the dressing room and wait for the dance to be over. She was powerless when it came to Sierra. Nothing she said or did would change anything in less than five minutes.

There was a soft knock on the door. "Lena? Are you okay?"

Lena sniffled and looked up. Standing in the door way was Kelsey, the last person she ever expected to be checking up on her. "Like you care." She hugged her knees and looked down ahead of her at the cold floor.

"Sierra took your ballet shoes. I know." Kelsey took a few steps forward. "I know where they are... if you want them."

"It doesn't matter now, does it." Lena snapped back. "Sierra took my ballet shoes and even though you know where they are, we don't have time to go get them. The show is starting in literally two minutes. There's no time."

Kelsey took off her own ballet shoes and held them out to Lena. "Take mine. I'll take the blame for missing the dance. Besides, I'm just in the back and I don't have a special part like you."

Lena took the ballet shoes from her and stood up. She looked at the worn down, pink fabric in her hands and then back up at Kelsey. "I can't. I don't want you getting in trouble." Lena has always been too nice.

"Take them and go out there and shine. I'm sort of starting to realize that Sierra isn't the best influence. I don't think she treats you the way you should be treated. Go out there and prove her wrong." Kelsey pushed the shoes back at Lena, giving her a small smile. "I'll watch from the wings."

This was the first time anyone from her dance studio had reached out to her like that. It was definitely a pleasant surprise. Lena took the shoes and joined the other girls in the wings backstage. Lucky for Lena, Sierra was on the other side.

"What kind of shit was that, Kelsey?! I thought I could trust you!" Sierra was whisper-screaming at her supposed friend.

"Hey, leave her alone." Lena stepped in between the two girls. For once in her whole life, she finally felt strong enough to stand up to Sierra. "She finally realized that being a nasty bitch to people wasn't the way to get through life. You must lead an awfully miserable life." Lena took Kelsey by the wrist and pulled her away from Sierra. She wasn't going to let Kelsey's easily mold-able mind be crafted into a duplicate of Sierra's own.

***

After the show, Lena just wanted to get out of there. She knew no one had come to see her tonight. All her family was coming to tomorrow's show. She packed up her bag as quickly as she possible could and dragged her heavy dance bag up the stairs and into the lobby full of people. She pushed her way through the crowd and outside. She looked around at everyone outside, wondering if anyone she knew had came to the show to see someone else. Her eyes met up with a pair of very familiar blue ones.

"Hey there." He walked over to her, a cigarette in between his fingers. The smoke swirled above their heads.

"What are you doing here?" She wondered aloud, taking the cigarette from him and dropping it on the concrete, stomping it out.

"I wanted to see you dance. Is that a crime?" He smirked.

She rolled her eyes at him and pushed him away from her. "I'll see you later, Andy." She wasn't about to let him get into her mind again. She needed to focus on Jake, even though she was pretty sure he would never take her back again.

She left Andy behind, walking out to the parking lot alone, carrying her overweight bag. Standing out by the side of the bus stop station, she spotted a familiar head of black hair.

"Jake?" She walked up behind him.

He turned around and smiled at first, but then forced the smile away. He was trying to show that he was mad at her, even though he knew he could never be mad at those ocean eyes.

"Yeah... Hey." He said, looking down.

She walked around in front of him. "What are you doing here?"

He shrugged. "I wanted to see you dance. And I hoped I would catch you after the show. I just wanted to see you."

"Are you waiting for a ride?" She asked, watching a few cars pass by.

He nodded. "Yeah, my mom said she's on her way."

Lena dropped her bag onto the ground with a thump. "Tell her not to worry. I'll take you home." She smiled when he looked up at her.

"I'll grab your bag." He offered.

As they walked back to her car, hand in hand, Lena began to think that maybe moving to LA with Jake and the boys wouldn't be as bad as she thought. If she could keep her mind focused on Jake, everything would be alright.


	21. Chapter Twenty-One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *A/N
> 
> I skipped ahead three years because I didn't want to make a sequel.

"Jake! Give me my phone back!" Lena giggled, chasing her boyfriend of over three years down the halls and through the rooms in their apartment in Los Angeles.

It had been close to three years since Lena moved out to LA with the band. The boys had become very successful out in California since they teamed up with a real record label. She had been telling herself for the past three years that she was happy with Jake She always had been.

"Jake! Let me in! I want my phone back!" She pounded on the locked bathroom door. She could hear Jake's playful laughter coming from the other side. "Come on, Jake. I'm going to be late for my rehearsal!" Since moving out to California, Lena also got gigs doing dance performances and working with a popular local acting company.

She reached up her arm and groped the frame of the door in search for the spare key they hid on the top of the door frame. Just as she grabbed it, she heard the lock click on the other side of the door. The knob turned slowly and the door squeaked open. Jake's sullen face stared back at her.

"Babe, what's wrong?" She asked, trying to look down at her phone in Jake's hand.

He held it up for her so she could see the illuminated screen. "This." He said. "This is what's wrong."

Lena's mouth dropped open. Jake had seen all her texts to and from Andy. Lena had told herself she had been happy with Jake for this long. But she really still wanted Andy. It was a longing that never ceased.

"I'm going to the studio. We have to record some songs for the new record. I'll see you when I get home." Jake shoved the phone at her and sulked past her. "If I come home, that is." He mumbled to himself but Lena could still hear him.

Lena watched him leave. As soon as she heard the front door slam shut, she walked out to the living room and dropped her dead weight onto the couch cushions. She scrolled through all of her messages from Andy. They weren't as bad as they could be. They were mostly friendly messages. Sure, Andy occasionally said something flirty to her, but Lena always thought that was just his nature. She liked the attention, because lately, Jake hadn't been giving it to her. But she was still happy with Jake. Or so she thought.

Sighing, she rose from the couch and tossed her phone into her dance bag. Even after all these years, she still carried around the same, ratty old dance bag she used when she was in high school.

She moved on to the kitchen, opening a few cabinets looking for something to snack on before she left. Being hungry, especially during rehearsal, gave her dizzy spells and she really did not feel like passing out today. She reached for a random box and pulled it down, setting it on the counter. Triscuts: not her favorite. Jake bought them all the time because he liked them. She peeked into the cabinet to see if there was anything else and groaned when she couldn't find anything. She rolled her eyes and opened the Triscuts box. It would have to do for now to hold her over until dinner.

She glared at the square pieces of whole wheat. She forced her hand inside the cardboard box and tried to grab a generous, but not too generous, handful of the crackers. Instead, she felt something in the box that was not crackers. From the box, she revealed another box. But this one was covered in black felt and fit in the palm of her hand. It looked like a box that would contain some sort of jewelry.

Setting down the box of Triscuts, she opened the little black, velvet box. Inside, a diamond ring glinted in the incoming sunlight. Her blue eyes became startled and grew to the size of moons. She knew exactly what this was. It was an engagement ring.


	22. Chapter Twenty-Two

"Lena, I'm home." Jake called as he opened the door and then slammed it shut behind him.

She took the box in her hands and shoved it back inside the triscuts box before placing it back on the shelf in the cabinet.

"What are you doing?" He walked into the kitchen just as she was putting the box away. He spotted the box in her hand, and reached for it. "You hate triscuts. What are you doing eating triscuts?" He asked, peering into the box and taking one out.

"There was nothing else to eat so I just settled on triscuts. I didn't want to go out anywhere and...yeah..." She trailed off.

Jake reached into the box again. "So, was there anything you had to ask me?" Lena continued.

Jake pulled out another triscut, popping it in his mouth, and shaking his head. "Nope, I don't think so." He said with his mouth half full. He turned and took the box to the living room where he sat down on the couch and put his socked feet on the coffee table.

Lena followed him, jumping over the back of the couch and onto the cushions next to him. "Are you sure?" She said as he reached into the box again.

His hand touched something that wasn't a triscut and his face contorted into a confused look. He grabbed the object and pulled it out, revealing the little black box containing the engagement ring. "Oh." He said when he saw it. "I forgot this was in here."

Lena grinned, knowing what was to come next. "So...?" She tried leading him into it.

He turned and saw the big grin on her face. "So, what?" He looked down at the box again and back up at her. "Oh..." He realized. "Look, Lena... This isn't for you. You know my friend Aaron? He's asking his girlfriend, Kelly, to marry him and he asked me if I could hold onto the engagement ring for him until he was ready. I'm sorry I made you think--"

"Oh." Lena cut him off. "Yeah, no, that's fine." She said, clearly upset. "But why hide it from me? Why not just tell me?"

Jake sighed. "Because I knew that if you saw the box, you would get excited and think it was for you, without even letting me explain. I kept it in the triscuts box because I knew you hated triscuts, so you would never look there. I love you, Lena, I really do. But marriage is a big step and I really don't know if I'm ready."

Lena felt her heart sink. "But we've been together for three years."

Jake shrugged. "I know, but--"

Lena didn't even let him finish. She stood up from the couch, grabbing her leather jacket on the way down the hallway and stormed out the door. She didn't know why she was so upset exactly. She loved Jake and she did want to spend the rest of her life with him. But Andy had been floating in the back of her mind for the past three years. If she were finally married to Jake, she would never have a chance with Andy, ever. So, why would she be so upset about the false proposal?

She stood outside the apartment building, smoking a cigarette and hoping Jake would come down stairs to check on her. But he never did. Instead, who else but Andy walked by her.

"What are you doing out here?" He stopped, leaning up against the wall like her, and taking her cigarette from her. After a few puffs he returned it, and waited for his answer.

"It's just... Jake, is all." She tapped out the ashes from her cigarette and hung her head.

"What about Jake?" Andy inquired.

Lena sighed. "I found an engagement ring hidden in our apartment and I thought it was for me. When Jake came home, he told me that he had been holding it for his friend Aaron--"

"Oh, yup, I know Aaron." Andy interrupted.

Lena gave him a look before continuing. "And he said even though we've been together for three years, he's not ready for a serious commitment like marriage yet. And I got upset and came out here for a smoke to calm myself down."

"You're a dancer. You shouldn't be smoking." Andy commented.

"And you're a singer. You shouldn't be smoking either." Lena shot right back. "But guess who got me into it, hmm?" She looked at Andy, attempting to make him feel guilty.

"You know what you need?" Andy changed the subject, taking her cigarette from her and stomping it out. "You need IHOP. Pancakes makes everything better."

"Pancakes?" She questioned as Andy took her hand and started pulling her away from the apartment building.

Upstairs, Jake watched the whole interaction between Andy and Lena. He always had his suspicions, even after all these years. He saw the way Andy looked at Lena. He wasn't sure if Lena's feelings had changed at all since they were eighteen years old, but he didn't want to find out. He started to think that maybe marriage was the only way to seal the deal. In order to keep her all to himself, he was going to have to throw in the towel, and propose.


	23. Chapter Twenty-Three

It was nearing one o'clock in the morning and they had found themselves sitting outside a convenience store a few blocks away from Lena and Jake's apartment. Jake had been texting all night long but Lena didn't want to talk to him. Deep down, she knew she had to forgive him, but part of her wanted to stay mad at him. The part that loved Andy so deeply wanted her to stay mad at Jake for obvious reasons. She loved Andy.

"So, what's really going on with you and Jake, hmm?" Andy asked, taking a puff of his cigarette and leaning back on his hands with the cancer stick hanging out of his mouth.

Lena sat with her knees pulled up close to her chest and a lighter in her hand. She let the lighter spark but never light fully. "I don't know, really." She knew, but she wasn't sure if she was entirely ready to admit everything to Andy.

She dropped the lighter by her feet and reached over Andy and grabbed his Monster can. She took a generous gulp of it before putting it back down next to him. What would she say to him anyway? I've been in love with you since high school and I don't actually want to be with Jake, I want you? It didn't sound practical.

The neon glow of the florescent sign above their heads was their only source of electricity. It lit up Lena's face so Andy could take in her features. She had grown since high school. Her cheeks thinned out, but her hair was still the same blonde color is had always been. Her ears were still stretched and she had a tattoo curving around the left side of her neck.

It was a pride thing with Andy. He wanted to admit to her all of his thoughts and feelings. He wanted to let her know that ever since the senior switch day in the little crevice in the wall, he had grown attached to her. But Jake was standing in his way. Jake was not only Andy's friend, but also band mate. Andy couldn't just steal Jake's girlfriend away from him like that, even though it seemed he already had.

"Don't lie to me." Andy said, suddenly. "I know there's something else going on."

Lena shrugged, picking up the lighter off the ground again and sparking it. "I don't know..." She mumbled.

Andy sighed. "Is it the sex? Are you guys having bad sex?"

"Andy!" Lena squealed, smacking Andy's arm.

"Just saying," Andy shrugged. "We'd have much better sex." Well, that was bold.

Lena was taken aback by Andy's forward comment. She wanted to think that he was joking, but she knew he was ninety percent serious. She laughed anyway, making the mood lighten a bit. Andy laughed, too, to hide the fact that he had just blurted out something that was supposed to remain hidden in the depths of his mind.

"I guess I'm just having trouble feeling an attraction to Jake. I mean, obviously I'm very attracted to him. But there's something about his personality and the way we interact that doesn't feel right. Of course I love him a lot. But I don't think I'm in love with him, you know?" Lena tried to explain her feelings towards Jake in a way Andy would understand.

Andy nodded. "I get it, yeah. I had a friend once who I loved, but was never in love with, until now."

 _What is he implying?_ Lena thought to herself. He must be saying that he was in love with her. But that would make everything with Jake ten times more complicated.

By this point, it was nearing two in the morning and Lena's brain was in knots. She couldn't think straight, she was high off caffeine, and the smell of Andy's cigarette was driving her insane. "I should get home, Andy. I need to just sleep everything off." She admitted, standing up from the curb.

"Let me walk you home--"

"No." She cut him off. The last thing she wanted was Andy walking her home and making everything that much more difficult.


	24. Chapter Twenty-Four

The last thing she remembered before falling asleep was curling up next to Jake's back and deeply inhaling the scent of his cologne. She figured he hadn't had time to shower before bed or he was just too lazy to, which was completely understandable.

The next thing she knew, two hands where pressed against her back and were pushing her back and forth, rocking her body awake.

"Lena, get your lazy ass up." Jake joked, rocking her back and forth.

Lena groaned, slowly opening her eyes to see Jake leaning over her with swim trunks on and no shirt. She liked when he went shirtless. It gave her the opportunity to stare at her favorite tattoo of his. Across his chest, he had his mom's name in big, intricate letters. Not only was it her favorite Black Veil Brides' song, but it was also her favorite tattoo of all the ones Jake had.

"What?" She groaned, rolling onto her side away from him.

He reached over and pulled her back. "Get your bathing suit on. We're all taking a trip to the beach!"

"We all?" She questioned, propping herself up onto her elbows and watching Jake search through her drawers for her bathing suit.

"Yeah," Jake threw the bikini top at her. "You, me, Ashley," He threw her bikini bottoms at her. "CC, Jinxx," Then he threw a tank top and a pair of shorts at her to wear over her bathing suit. "And Andy." He finished, turning around to look at her covered in the pile of clothes.

He watched her gather her clothes slowly and sluggishly make her way out of bed. "Hurry!" He encouraged. "We all made a bet. Last one there has to clean the bus on the next tour. And if we're last, I'm blaming you and [i]you[/i] are cleaning the bus."

Lena rolled her eyes and stuck her tongue out at him before shutting the door to the bathroom to change. Jake kept banging on the door, trying rushing her. She knew he meant well, and was only doing it to be funny, but she had been out with Andy all night and was still incredibly exhausted.

"Okay, okay, let's go." She opened the door to the bathroom and Jake raced out the door and down to the car. When they arrived at the beach, Jinxx and CC were there but no sign of Andy or Ashley yet.

"Aw yes, we beat Ash and Andy!" Jake high-fived Jinxx and CC.

Lena stood by awkwardly and let the boys catch up, even though they had just seen each other less than twenty-four hours ago. Lena swore her boys were worse than some girls.

"Lena," CC approached her with open arms and scooped her up in a hug. "I missed you more than Jake." He whispered in her ear, making her giggle.

"Ashley, stop!" Andy shouted as Ashley booked his way to the heated sand, officially reaching the beach before Andy. "Fuck!" Andy cursed, realizing he had lost the bet.

Everyone laughed as Andy joined the group, not even glancing over at Lena. When Andy was around Jake or the rest of the guys, it seemed he ignored her. When they were alone, she was the center of his attention. She figured it was because he didn't want anyone growing suspicious, but really, he was making everything ten times more suspicious by ignoring her.

"Will someone go down to the water with me? I suddenly just got really hot." Lena complained.

Everyone looked at each other but no one agreed, until Andy spoke up. "I'll go." He said, dropping his towel and starting towards the water.

"So, how are you and Lena doing? I know you mentioned you guys were having some problems?" Ashley inquired of Jake as Lena and Andy made their way down to the water.

Jake shrugged, watching his girlfriend walking into the horizon with one of his best friends by her side. "I love her, you all know that." Jake sighed as everyone nodded. "It's just, she was out with Andy last night. I texted her all night long but she never answered. Honestly, I think I may have lost her."

Jinxx decided to throw his wisdom into the mix of things. "I think you guys need to have a serious talk about what you both want."

Jake groaned. "Jinxx, I know she wants to be with Andy. We've all known she's wanted Andy since high school. Even Andy has known this. It's no secret."

"Then why has she stuck with you all this time?" Jinxx asked. "You need to find out what's going through her mind. You guys need to talk it out."

Jake shook his head. "Honestly, I think it's time. I think it's time to finally let her go."

****

It caught her by surprise, but it was a nice surprise. When they reached the ocean's edge, they stood so the coast line met their toes, but didn't get them wet.

"Is it cold?" Lena asked, looking at the salty water.

Andy shrugged. "I don't know. Why don't you tell me?" He smirked, picking her up in his arms and running into the cold waves with her.

"Andy!" She shrieked, as he let go of her and threw her into the ocean. "What the fuck!" She shouted as she resurfaced.

"Well? Is it cold?" He joked, using his fingers to play with the water.

Lena crossed her arms and glared at him. "I don't know, why don't you tell me." She said, scooping up water into her palms and throwing it at Andy.

"Hey!" He objected, splashing her back.

Lena jerked and fell backwards into the water, but sat there on the ocean floor with her head bobbing on the surface. She laughed as Andy trudged his way deeper into the water so he could be next to her. Before he could reach her, a big wave washed over her and sent her gliding through the water towards the shore.

She stood up, with a gleaming grin on her face. "I just got the best idea."

Andy waded in the water still. "That would be?"

"Body surfing." She smiled wider and ran deeper into the sea, setting herself up and waiting for the next big wave to come by.

Andy stood and watched. He loved the way she acted so child-like. He had never seen her so blissfully happy before. He could tell that she wasn't thinking of anything else. She had let her mind become free of thoughts and worries. Right now, all she was focused on was catching the biggest wave she could find, and riding it in, using nothing but her beautifully sculpted body. Her smile was wide, and genuine. Her eyes appeared to be full of life, and blue as ever. Her hair was uneven and soaked with salt. Her skin started to become dotted with freckles, the longer she stayed in the sun. And when she stood up, her body glistened in the sunlight. Water streamed down her curves, traveling down her thigh and meeting back up with the ocean where it all had originated from. He couldn't take his eyes off her. She was absolutely stunning.

"Andy?" She asked, breaking him out of his trance. "I'm cold now." Her body shivered and her skin was covered in goosebumps.

He put an arm around her to keep her warm and the two walked back up to where the group was sitting.


	25. Chapter Twenty-Five

She could feel the jealousy radiating off Andy as she cuddled up next to Jake's side in her damp towel. Her mind was still feeling conflicted. She loved Jake, that was for sure. He made her feel safe, and loved. To her, that was the most important thing. He always tried to make her feel loved. But she felt as though she was pulling him behind her on a string like a child would with a yoyo, as she played with her new toy in front of her, completely forgetting all about her old toy.

All Andy could do was sit back and watch her with envy flowing through his veins. He couldn't understand why everything had to be so difficult. He wanted to be with her, and she wanted to be with him. Wasn't that obvious? So, why wasn't anyone doing anything to change that?

****

"Sit." Jake motioned to the couch and Lena went ahead and jumped onto a couch cushion, curling up and waiting for Jake to sit as well.

Her time with Andy today had made her really happy, and she was in the best mood. But Jake had said he wanted to talk, and he didn't sound as happy as she was.

"What's wrong?" Lena asked when she saw Jake's pained face.

He took a deep breath to compose himself before looking her in the eyes. "I need to know. Me? Or Andy?"

Lena's heart sank in her chest. She wasn't ready to have this conversation with Jake because she still was unsure of what she wanted.

"Jake, don't do this to me." Lena pleaded but Jake stood his ground.

"We need to talk about this sooner or later and I've decided it's time." He stated seriously. He wasn't about to let himself get soft around her again. He always got soft around her and gave her whatever she asked for.

Lena pursed her lips and cast her gaze towards the floor. She held her knees up to her chest and curled her toes in her socks. Her mind was still churning, and spitting out thoughts that didn't make sense to her. How was she supposed to tell Jake what she wanted?

"Fine," Jake said when Lena refused to speak. "I'll go first. All I ever wanted was for you to love me fully. The past three years we've been dating, I feel like I always come in second to Andy. I've _always_  come in second to Andy when it comes to your ranks. I don't know how you expect me to believe you when you crawl into bed with me and whisper that you love me, when you spent the entire fucking day with him. Andy is my band mate and best friend, and he's not the one I'm pissed at."

"I do love you--" She tried to squeak out but Jake stood up abruptly and caused her to flinch back.

"I can't do this any longer. I don't know what you want from me because I give you everything you've ever asked for." He shouted at her.

His shouting only sparked her anger and she stood up as well. "I love you! I don't know why you can't see that! If I didn't love you, do you think I would be standing here right now trying to fight you about who's right and who's not? This is fucking ridiculous, Jake, I love you!" Her eyes filled with tears as she shouted those three words at him and watched as he stood, unfazed by her attempts.

"It's done. I can't do this anymore. I feel nothing." He turned away from her.

She sobbed, her body quivering, and her breathing becoming stagnant. She was frozen to the place that she stood, stunned by his words and unable to move.

He faced her again, showing no emotion to his face. "Would you like me to start fucking packing for you or do you think you can handle it? I want you out in twenty minutes." He pointed to the stairs that led to the second floor where their bedroom was.

Lena sniffled as she shuffled towards the stairs and lethargically made her way to their bedroom where all her things were. She shoved her clothes into as many bags as she could, stuffing them so that they couldn't zip up. She snagged all her makeup from the bathroom, and threw them into miscellaneous bags, not caring what happened to them.

The last thing left was to shamefully walk by Jake, who was waiting for her downstairs. She kept her eyes on the floor as she passed him, not wanting to even speak to him. She had nothing left to say. He had made up her mind for her.

Out on the street, it was cold, dark, and lonely. The stars were her only companions, and it seemed that tonight, they didn't dare shine as bright as normal. She wandered the streets of LA alone, with bags slung over her shoulder and hanging on her wrists and elbows. To passersby, she looked homeless. To herself, she felt homeless. In fact, she was homeless. She had nowhere else to go. Jake had abandoned her and he had been her only source of comfort and shelter.

She continued to walk until she found herself standing in front of someone's front door, her finger on the doorbell. The outside light flicked on and the door opened.

"What in God's name happened to you?" The owner of the home asked, looking her up and down.

"Please," She begged, gazing into his blue eyes. "Andy, you're all I have left."


	26. Chapter Twenty-Six

His living room was covered with luggage and the sight made Lena's heart sink to her stomach. The boys were going to Europe for a tour.

"Don't mind the mess." He said, kicking aside a suitcase so he could make his way to the couch where Lena was sitting. He sat down beside her and put a comforting arm around her.

She snuggled up into his side the way she used to with Jake and felt a wave of nostalgia pass over her. She shouldn't be missing Jake already. Andy was what she had always wanted, right?

"Remember," He said, kissing her hair. "You're welcome to stay here for as long as you need. Jake's being an asshole; don't worry about him."

Lena shrugged. The fact was, she _was_  worried about him. She had never seen him snap like that and it scared her.

"Do you want to go to the airport to say goodbye to me and the rest of the guys at least?" Andy offered.

Lena still refused to speak any words. The last words she had spoken to Andy were "Jake and I broke up."

Against his shoulder, she shook her head. She really just wanted to stay at Andy's house in his big t-shirt and watch Breaking Pointe instead. He scooted away from her and stood up, gathering his bags and starting to bring them out to the car. She could see the hurt in his eyes. She let him down, but it was personal when it came to seeing Jake.

Andy returned inside after bringing his last bag out to the car. "You know, maybe Jake wants to apologize." Andy mentioned.

She hadn't thought of that, but she didn't think he wanted to. She knew there was no way in hell that Jake would take her back. She simply shook her head at Andy's words, and watched him frown, turning away from her and shutting the door behind him.

Lena grabbed one of the throw pillows on the couch and held it close to her chest. She buried her chin into the pillow, grabbed the TV remote, and started the next few months of her life, alone.

****

After letting Lena go, Jake was feeling a range of emotions. He was happy that he didn't have to deal with her bullshit any longer. Her mind games with him were fucking him up and he wanted nothing to do with it anymore. She could have Andy now, and that's what she's always wanted. But the other half of him felt remorse. He missed her. He didn't like curling up into bed alone, feeling the empty space beside him where her presence used to be. He missed the way she smelled, and the sound of her laughter. He had truly loved her with all of his heart, and now, his heart had disappeared with her.

Andy had nothing to say to Jake. He kept everything quiet, and as though he knew nothing about it. Jake wondered if Andy knew anything, and he especially worried about where Lena was now. After kicking her out that night, he realized she had nowhere else to go. The thought kept him awake at night.

"Here's to our first night in Europe!" Ashley toasted and everyone clinked glasses.

Jake sat back, struggling to keep his mind off Lena. Each sip if alcohol made her face grow more and more fuzzy in his mind.

Everyone downed their drinks and raced out to the dance floor, or back to the bar, to find girls to dance with. Jake sat back in the booth and didn't bother. He was exhausted from the lack of sleep, and all he wanted to do was go back to the hotel.

"Jake!" Ashley called out, walking towards him with two girls on either side of him. "This is Meredith," He motioned towards the blonde bimbo on his left side. "And this is Ella." He motioned to the girl on his right side.

Ella blushed and smiled when Jake looked at her. "Ello, Jake." She said sweetly, in her British accent.

As soon as she spoke, all thoughts of Lena dissipated and he became entranced by Ella, standing before him. She was thin, with long brown hair and modelesque facial features. She was more beautiful than Lena, and Jake never thought he would ever think there was a woman out there more beautiful than Lena.


	27. Chapter Twenty-Seven

Jake propped himself up on his elbow and watched Ella's shoulder go up and down as she breathed in deeply and exhaled silently while she slept beside him. He shouldn't feel guilt; he was a single man now. But in the back of his mind was Lena's pained face. Her expression on the night he kicked her out had been burned into his brain and he suffered every day as it surfaced. As he stared at Ella, he began to think that maybe he had moved on too quickly. Maybe Lena was his true love, and he had just fucked up his entire life.

Andy sat on the bed next to Jake and Ella's with his back towards them and his cell phone pressed against his ear. "We all miss you too." He said with a slight laugh and a wide smile on his face.

Jake knew exactly who he was talking to. "Andy?" He half whispered, hoping not to wake Ella. "Is that... Is that Lena on the phone?"

Andy turned his head and nodded quickly before turning back around. Jake carefully stood up and walked over in front of Andy, holding out his hand. "Can I talk to her?"

Andy looked up at him, phone still pressed against his ear. "Uh, hey, Lena? I have someone here that wants to talk to you."

_Aw, who is it? Is it CC? He's such a cutie and--_

"No," Jake interrupted her. "It's me."

The line fell silent and Jake took the call out into the hallway. He didn't want Ella to wake up and start asking questions. He knew Lena well enough to know that even though she could have Andy now, she wasn't going to be happy that he had found someone else as well.

"Lena? Are you still there? Please... Just... Talk to me. I need to hear your voice." He pleaded.

 _What do you want, Jake? I thought you were done with me._  Venom dripped from her voice.

Jake could feel his heart racing faster with every word she spoke to him. He missed her, and was starting to realize that maybe Ella had been a mistake. Maybe kicking Lena out had been a mistake. Maybe ending it all wasn't what was supposed to happen after all.

"Lena, every day I see your face in my mind and I can't help but feel guilty for hurting you the way I did. That wasn't right of me and--"

 _Jake,_  She cut him off. _I would rather not have this conversation over the phone. If you really want to apologize to me in such depth, it can wait until you come home. And if it can't, then I guess that means you were never really sorry to begin with._

"But I--"

_Put Andy back on. I'm done with this._

Jake could feel tears stinging behind his eyes as he let the phone drop down to his side. He sulked back into the hotel room and gave the phone back to Andy. He answered it with a cheery voice and Lena's upbeat voice responded. He could already tell she was happier with Andy than she ever had been with him. Jake crawled back under the covers and turned his back to Ella and Andy. At this point, all he wished to do was fall back asleep and pretend nothing had ever happened. He wanted to escape into the darkness where he could dream of a better world where none of this had ever occurred.


	28. Chapter Twenty-Eight

Andy had been gone for so long that Lena was starting to realize how truly lonely it was to spend your nights all by yourself, and sleeping next to a cold, empty spot. She fell asleep that night imagining Andy next to her, his forehead pressed against hers, their legs tangled up under the blankets and his hand protectively covering her own. She dreamed of breathing in his stale cologne and listening to the soft sound of his own breathing.

That night, she had a dream about him. They sat on opposite ends of his couch downstairs, sharing one big, brown blanket. Andy pulled his shirt off without warning, and threw it to the floor. Lena looked at him with curiosity. She unhooked her bra, and dropped it to the floor with Andy's shirt. One by one, they took different clothing items off until they were both bare under the blanket. They looked at one another with no intention of making sexual advances. They just sat there under the blanket, looking at each other. Lena could feel herself beginning to grow embarrassed, and she could see Andy was feeling the same way. She grabbed her t-shirt and underwear and slipped them on quickly, making herself feel more comfortable. Andy did the same, and smiled at her as he stood up and walked away into the kitchen.

The next day, still in her dream world, she saw Andy but this time, he looked distressed.

_Lena, we can't do this anymore. I don't think it's going to work out, despite last night and everything_

When she woke up, she was looking into a pair of familiar blue eyes.

"Good morning." Andy smiled and hugged her close to him.

Lena pulled away from him. "Wait, is this real? You're not supposed to be home for another 3 days!" She grinned, not believing that her love was laying beside her at that very moment.

"If it wasn't real, could I do this?" He leaned in and kissed her lips gently, letting his tongue glide across the width of her bottom lip before pulling back to look at her starstruck face. He smiled, laughing slightly at her stunned reaction to his sudden arrival. "I'll go make us some breakfast." He got up and walked out of the room, closing the door behind him.

Lena sat up, running a hand through her tangled mass of hair, trying to make sense of everything that had happened within the last eleven hours of her life. She leaned over the edge of the bed and grabbed her laptop that she kept next to her side of the bed on the floor. With Andy gone, she had no choice but to let the internet take over her life at night.

She did a search for dream interpreter websites and came up with a few good ones. Desperately searching for an answer, she tried all different keywords in the hope of coming up with some sort of answer.

_To see someone undressing or naked in your dream denotes that you are comfortable with that person. You're able to be your complete self with that person, without worrying about what they're going to think. This person has given their entire selves over to you and trust you enough to show who they truly are underneath everything._

She looked up rejection and found that she lacks self worth. To be rejected by a lover meant she is rejecting a part of who she is.

It was a lot to take in and it wasn't even guaranteed that any of that was real. After all, it was just a stupid website most likely intended for fun and entertainment rather than actual analysis of dreams.

"Lena?" Andy called.

Lena closed the laptop and slid it to the end of the bed, jumping off the mattress and hurrying downstairs to join Andy in a breakfast that was most likely going to end in an awkward disaster.


	29. Chapter Twenty-Nine

"Lena, just go over your piece while I help Josie for a minute, alright?" Her ballet coach instructed.

The company that Lena was a part of was working on their rendition of Cinderella. Lena was playing the Summer Fairy and had a small solo piece to get perfected.

Lena nodded as Beth, her ballet instructor, took Josie to the rehearsal room for a one on one practice. Josie had been having difficulty mastering her part as the Winter Fairy.

Lena, Kendra--the Spring Fairy, and Laura--the Autumn Fairy, were left on stage to rehearse their parts and give each other pointers on what they could each improve on. Each of the girls decided to pick a part of the stage to go over their parts briefly before rehearsing it full out for each other.

Lena was in the middle of her fouette turn when a familiar voice called out her name.

"Lena!" He shouted at her.

Lena's ankle gave and she stumbled off pointe towards the edge of the stage, almost falling off. Lena looked up to see Jake standing at the edge of the stage, looking up at her. She straightened up and scoffed at him. "What the fuck are you doing here Jake? Thanks for almost killing me." She crossed her arms over her chest, rolling her eyes.

"Be careful, Lena!" Kendra called over to her before Jake could answer.

"Yeah, we wouldn't want you to fall off the stage and break something!" Laura added.

"I would have caught you." Jake stated.

Lena turned her back towards him, and started walking away.

"Lena, wait." Jake pleaded. "Stay."

Lena turned around, her arms still crossed over her chest with one hip jutted out. "Why should I?"

"I miss you. I want you to come home." He admitted. "I'm sorry for being a dick."

"Home? That's not home to me. I'm living with Andy now. And honestly, he's done a hell of a lot more for me than you ever did." It was as if Lena had completely forgotten everything Jake had ever done for her, starting with their very first date when he bought her that AFI t-shirt. She still wore it, and Jake knew. The sad thing was, he didn't think she remembered who bought it for her. Furthermore, it was true. She couldn't remember where it had come from.

"Come on, Lena. You said if I was truly sorry, I would stand in front of you and tell you. Nothing I do seems to ever be enough. I fucked up, sure. But I didn't fuck up as much as you did for the entire time we were together. I _never_  for a second, even glanced in another girl's direction. But I know you were all over Andy. You loved me, sure. But he was all you really wanted. So congrats, you have him now."

Lena stepped forward. "I have always cared about you, Jake. You never cared about me."

Jake took a step towards the stage as well. "I always cared about you, Lena. You just never noticed."


	30. Chapter Thirty

Jake's voice played over and over again in her mind as she tried to fall asleep every night after that. Nothing she did could get him out of her mind.

_You never noticed_

Could it be possible? Had she been too wrapped up in Andy? Did Andy blind her from Jake? She didn't want to believe it but it was a big possibility. Lena was constantly fighting with herself. She was too stubborn to admit she was wrong all along, but she wanted so desperately to let go of everything and go back to the way it was before.

She turned over to face Andy and half smiled at his peaceful, slumbering expression. She shook his shoulder slightly, trying to wake him up so she wouldn't have to be alone anymore. He grumbled, and whined "Whaaaat?"

"Andy, wake up. I can't sleep." Lena half whispered.

Andy's face scrunched up into an annoyed look and he turned over, ignoring her plea for comfort and putting his back to her.

Lena sighed, laying on her back and staring up at the ceiling. Andy did this to her every night. It seemed his sleep was more important than Lena's constant need for attention from him. But it wasn't even that she craved his attention. Three AM was a lonely time of night.

When Lena woke up the next morning, she found a note on Andy's pillow. This was the second week in a row he had done this. It read:

_Went to the studio to work on some things with the guys. I'll be home by 3._

_Love you._

_Andy_

Lena crumpled up the paper as she sighed, throwing it across the room away from her. It was the same note every morning, and she was beginning to think that this would become a regular thing.

She rubbed her eyes and temples as she attempted to wake herself up. Getting up in the morning was never a fun time for her, especially with her new case of insomnia.

She heard a buzzing sound coming from the floor and leaned over the bed to see her phone buzzing with her friend Josie's name popping up on the screen.

She groaned, picking up the phone off the floor and answering. "Hello?"

Josie's voice sounded slightly frantic. "Lena, do you know where Andy is right now?"

Lena sat straight up. "He should be at the studio with the rest of the guys... Why? Is he hurt? Is everything okay?"

"I... I don't know..." Josie now sounded like she had failed at something.

"Josie, what's going on?" Lena's voice became stern.

"I just saw Andy at Starbucks with some girl. I don't know who she is but she didn't look like just a friend." Josie admitted.

"No, Andy's not cheating on me. He can't be. She was probably just some girl that they're featuring on a track or something." Lena instantly became full of denial. When it came to Andy, she refused to believe he was doing anything bad.

"I don't know, Lena..." Josie now sounded a little scared of what Lena would say next.

"Thanks for telling me, Josie." Lena picked up on Josie's fragile personality kicking in. "I'll talk to him about it when he gets home. He should be home soon."

After hanging up with Josie, Lena's mind was spinning. Why would Andy cheat on her? Wasn't she all he had ever wanted ever since they were 16? That's how it had appeared to her, anyway.

She stared at her reflection in the mirror. Who was this person she had become? Lena had gone from an ordinary teenager to a psychotic, obsessive adult. Andy had taken over her entire life.

"Lena? I'm home!" She heard Andy call from downstairs.

"Hey." She called back, not taking her eyes off herself. She could hear Andy's footsteps getting heavier as he made his way up the stairs.

"What's wrong?" He said as he appeared in the mirror next to her.

"Nothing..." She broke her gaze from the mirror, looking down at the bathroom counter.

Andy stepped behind her, snaking his long arms around her waist and kissing the top of her head. "You know you can tell me. Something's up, I can tell by the way you're acting."

"Something's up with you." She said as she spun around to face him. "Josie called me today to tell me she saw you with some girl getting coffee today?"

Andy laughed. "Oh, that was just Juliet Simms of Automatic Loveletter. We asked her to be featured in a song for the upcoming album."

Lena felt all the muscles in her body relax and her heart release all of it's tangled up anxiety. "That's what I thought."

Andy kissed her forehead. "How could I possibly need another woman in my life when I have the most perfect girl standing right here in front of me?"

Lena blushed, smiled and buried her face in his shirt as he hugged her close to him. She breathed in his cologne and closed her eyes as she let his scent cleanse her mind of all worrying thoughts.

She looked up at him and he looked down at her. She smiled, "Now, get out of here. I was going to take a shower."

"Or we could take one together." Andy suggested, seduction dripping from his voice. He kissed her hard and made her forget she had ever been mad at him in the first place.


	31. Chapter Thirty-One

It happened again just like it always happened; the same note sitting there on his pillow. Lena picked it up, tore it into shreds and threw it like confetti in the air, letting it float down on Andy's side of the bed. She got up, got dressed and began her day without Andy yet again.

She sat at the kitchen counter, with her phone in her hands. She stared at it, highlighting Andy's number. But she changed her mind and called Josie instead.

"Do you see them?" She asked.

"No," Josie said, looking around the coffee shop. "Andy must have seen me the other day."

"Or he's actually where he said he is." Lena said with hope.

Josie sighed audibly. "Do you really think that, though?"

Lena spun around in her chair and stood up. "Okay, no."

"What are you going to do about this? You have to do something." Josie confessed, and she was right. Lena had to do something about it.

"You're right." Lena admitted. "I have another call to make." She hung up the phone and dialed the next number.

****

There was a knock on the door. Lena put the last of her wet laundry in the basket and hurried to the door.

"You rang?" CC smiled when she opened the door.

"Finally!" Lena smiled widely and jumped into CC's open arms. "So, Andy's not at the studio I assume?"

CC's eyebrows furrowed. "Why would he be there? I thought he was here."

Lena grimaced. "I was hoping you wouldn't say that. He's been leaving me these notes saying he's at the studio with you guys working on record stuff. But my friend spotted him at Starbucks the other day with another girl."

"And so now you have suspicions." CC finished for her. "I get it. You want me to help you scope it out."

"That," Lena said, "And I need you to help me do laundry."

CC's smile faded. "Lenaaaaa." He whined.

"Come on, let's go!" She grabbed her basket of laundry and headed out the door, CC following slowly behind.


	32. Chapter Thirty-Two

"Why did we have to do this?" CC complained some more as the two were folding the now dry laundry.

Lena finished folding a towel as she said, "Hey, it's not my fault Andy fucked up his dryer."

CC made a face at the shirt he was folding and continued pulling random items out of the basket. He picked up something of Lena's and grinned mischievously. "Look what I found!" He sang, holding up a pair of Lena's underwear.

"CC, fucking fold the underwear or I swear to god." Lena glared at him.

He chuckled before giving it to her to fold herself. "Christ almighty, Lena, take a joke."

She sighed, finishing up the last t-shirt. "I'm sorry, Andy has just been pissing me off lately. I guess I need to spend some more time with you away from all this drama, huh?" Lena reached to grab the basket of folded laundry but CC stopped her.

"Lena!" He shouted as he saw Andy walk by the window.

Andy saw CC's panicked face and Andy looked just as frantic. What was CC to do? Let Lena confront Andy in front of the Laundromat? Or let Andy go and have them face each other at home?

Lena looked at CC. "What?"

CC thought quickly, pulling Lena into his chest. He held on to her tightly in a hug as he motioned with his head for Andy to keep moving before she spotted him. Andy mouthed a quick thank you and ran off. CC let go of her and Lena looked up at him smiling, yet confused.

"What was that about?" She asked with a slight laugh to her voice.

"Sorry," CC laughed as well. "I just got caught up in the moment I guess. You know, us being like best friends and all now."

Lena shook her head, grabbing the basket of laundry. "Oh, CC. What am I going to do with you?" She giggled, carrying the laundry to the car.

CC felt guilty for letting Andy go, because he loved Lena like a sister and only wanted the best for her. He knew what Andy was doing, but to tell her just didn't feel right. Andy needed to be the one to tell her straight up.

****

Lena's rehearsal was dragging on as usual. She sat in the audience, watching the principle dancers rehearse their pieces. Lena was only a soloist but she dreamed of the day she would be promoted to principle. Principle was the highest stage a ballerina could get to.

She hadn't been home since she went out with CC and her laundry was still sitting in the back of her car. She'd had no time to grab something to eat, so she was stuck nibbling on a granola bar secretly in the back of the auditorium. Food and drink--except water--wasn't allowed in the theater, so she had to be sneaky about it.

She rose from her seat, and went out into the lobby to throw away her wrapper. She walked up to the trash can and threw her wrapper in, but from behind, someone grabbed her hand. She spun around to briefly catch Jake's face before he planted his lips against hers.

Half of her wanted to push him away because she was technically with Andy. But the other half of her had missed him so much. She ached for his lips to be on hers again. All she wanted was for him to take her back, and forgive her for being a bitch to him. She missed the way he treated her with respect, kindness and love. Andy didn't give her any of that.

He pulled away and looked into her eyes. "I'm sorry. I just miss you so much."


	33. Chapter Thirty-Three

He was like the devil's smile: so welcoming and tempting, but behind the gleam lay all of Lena's deepest fears. His eyes were like melted chocolate framed by those grungy locks of black hair. It appeared as though he hadn't showered in a couple days, nor slept for that matter. He was in the darkest state she had ever seen him.

"Um, Lena?" Caroline, a girl in her company poked her head out of the auditorium doors. "Beth would like to speak to the company as a whole. I don't want you to get in trouble."

Lena looked at Jake. "I have to go."

"I'll wait for you." Jake said.

Lena grimaced. "Please Jake, just... Go home and get some sleep. You look like you need it." She turned quickly and followed Caroline back inside, away from Jake.

He touched the spot on his cheek that Lena had brushed her hand against when he surprised her with a kiss. His heart truly ached for her, and he never thought he would have missed her so much. He could still smell the hairspray lingering around him, making it feel as though she were still with him. He gazed at the door she had disappeared behind for a moment before turning to leave.

Inside, Lena sat down with the rest of the company. Beth stood on the stage with a clipboard in her hands.

"Alright, the following people can leave for the day. I know I said I would keep everyone until seven but I decided that I'm not going to keep you all here if I'm not going to rehearse with you. So, Caroline, Josie, Anna, Isabelle, Christa, Lily, Jake, Aaron, Ronnie, Pamela, Eric and Lena, you are all free to go. Enjoy the rest of your day and I will see you all tomorrow."

Lena gathered her things and walked out with Josie and the rest of them. It was odd that Beth had dismissed all of them. Out of all the characters in Cinderella, the four fairies were the people who needed to rehearse the most. Beth had barely spent any time with them on their pieces and more time on Cinderella and the prince, as if those people were the only two in the entire ballet. This show was going to turn to shit if they didn't rehearse.

"Hey, Josie? Do you want to get together and work on our pieces together?" Lena offered. "I feel as though Beth has been kind of rejecting us."

"I'd love to!" Josie exclaimed.

Lena felt relieved. She wouldn't have to go home to Andy, and she wouldn't be alone to dwell on her encounter with Jake earlier.

"But I can't today." Josie frowned. "Eric and I have been trying to plan a night out together forever but because of ballet, we haven't had a chance to spend time together outside of the studio."

"Oh..." Lena looked down at her Vans.

Josie felt bad. "I'm really sorry, Lena." She caressed her friend's arm.

"No," Lena looked up at her. "It's okay, really." She forced a small smile. "I'm sure Andy will be excited that I'm home early today."

Josie gave her a pitied smile before reaching an arm around her shoulders and giving her a squeeze. "If you need to talk, give me a call, okay?"

Lena nodded. "Okay." She unlocked her car and walked up to the driver's side door. She got in and started on her journey back home to Andy, hoping he wouldn't be home. She didn't feel like confronting him about what Josie had seen, and knew if he was home, she wouldn't be able to keep it inside any longer.


	34. Chapter Thirty-Four

The house was locked and Andy's car was nowhere to be seen. Lena figured he must not be home. She let out a sigh of relief. Even though things didn't work out with Josie, she was still spared from having to face Andy.

She unlocked the door and walked inside, dropping her dance bag on the floor and immediately heading to the refrigerator. She hadn't eaten since her granola bar and her stomach was violently yelling at her to eat something or else.

She grabbed what appeared to be half of a leftover sandwich, probably Andy's. Lena had absolutely no desire to make anything herself. All she wanted to do was get something quick and plop on the couch to catch up on whatever stupid tv show she could find.

On her way past the staircase, she heard an odd noise coming from upstairs. Panic flooded her body and the worst possible thoughts shot into her mind.

_There's someone in the house. Oh, god I'm going to die. If it's a serial killer, I swear to god. Okay, okay, if it's someone who wants to hurt me, just... compromise with him?_

She treaded lightly up the stairs, hoping whoever it was wasn't dangerous. She refrained from calling out. She hoped that if it was someone trying to hurt her, she could catch them off guard and maybe kick some ass like she saw in the crime shows.

There was a banging coming from behind a closed door just a few feet away. It sounded as though whoever was in there was maybe searching through drawers, trying to find valuables. Lena then thought of her grandmother's necklace that she had hidden in her underwear drawer in Andy's room. That necklace meant the world to her, and the thought of it being stolen practically tore her heart out. She gulped and thought fuck it. Nothing in her life was going right anyway, and if she died, it would have been for a good enough cause.

She burst through the door to see Andy hovering over some girl, the blankets covering them. They both looked over and the girl pushed Andy off her, grabbing fistfuls of the sheets to cover up her bare body.

"Shit, Lena, I--" Andy began to say but Lena fled from the room, tears in her eyes.

Andy grabbed a dirty towel off the floor and followed her. "Lena, I'm sorry! I didn't think you would be home so early."

Lena stopped and spun around. "And that's reason enough to cheat on me?"

"Lena, come on, don't leave." Andy begged.

Lena didn't want to hear what he had to say. She thrust the door open and ran, unsure of where she was going. She just kept running as far away from Andy as she could get.

***

It was nearing midnight and Lena was sitting in front of a liquor store with the neon lights of the signs in the window and a nearby lamp post as her only source of light. It felt very deja vu. And then she remembered the time when she and Andy sat together outside a convenience store late at night, sharing a smoke and just talking.

She scrolled through her phone, trying to ignore the past, and recent memory. She lit a cigarette, and thought of what Andy had said to her.

_You're a dancer. You shouldn't be smoking."_

She snickered. "Says the rockstar singer who smokes. What a fucking hypocrite."

"Who's a hypocrite?" Someone said as they sat down next to her.

She looked over and saw Jake with a can of Monster in his hand. "No one..." She flicked the ash off her cigarette and took another drag, looking up at the night sky.

Jake reached over and slipped the cigarette out from between her fingers and replaced it with the can of Monster.

"Since when do you smoke?" She wondered aloud.

Jake smirked. "I don't." He dropped the cigarette on the wet pavement and squished it out with his foot. "If anything, that's going to be better for you." He pointed to the Monster can in her hand.

She looked at it, and took a quick sip before handing it back to him. "What are you even doing here?" She wondered. "How did you find me?"

"I saw you running, and it didn't look like you were running for exercise. So I followed you." He admitted. "I was worried about you. I have been since you left."

"Don't do this to me, Jake. I've been through enough tonight." Lena looked away from him.

He reached over and moved her face back to his own. He ran two fingers in her hair and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. He let his hand drop, when he sensed she wasn't responding to his attempt of flirting.

Impulsively, Lena's lips found Jake's. Jake's whole body melted at the touch of Lena's skin against his own as her hand found it's way to his.

"Come on," He stand standing up. "I'll take you home."

"Home?" Lena sounded worried. To her, home meant Andy's house.

Jake smiled slightly. "To my place. I'll sleep on the couch. You can have my room for the night."

Lena stood as well. "I don't want to do that to you. We can share, as long as you promise to keep certain parts of your body to yourself." She poked his stomach and giggled. Andy had never made her feel as welcomed as Jake did. She never felt more comfortable than when she was with Jake. He was modest, sweet, and caring; everything she had ever wanted, but for some reason, could never have.


	35. Chapter Thirty-Five

When Lena woke up the next morning, nothing felt right. She looked over at a slumbering Jake and felt guilt rising in her body. She knew that none of this would have ever happened if she hadn't been here. She had completely destroyed not only her own life, but Jake's life as well.

She stood carefully, making sure she didn't wake Jake up. That was the last thing she wanted to happen. From the kitchen, she grabbed a pen and a piece of paper, carelessly scribbling a semi-heart felt note to Jake to leave on the counter for him to find.

She only had a few belongings but it didn't matter. Andy would send them to her or she would get new clothes. All she knew was she had to go. Ohio was calling her back.

In the midst of her brief packing, she called a taxi cab to come pick her up at Jake's house. She wasn't about to wake him up and ask him for a ride there. She knew what would happen. He would convince her with his soothing, sweet words to stay with him because he could make everything better. But the truth was, he couldn't. No one could ever repair the damage Lena had inflicted on all of their lives.

***

Jake woke up to find Lena's side of the bed made, empty, and cold. He groggily got up and shuffled his way into the kitchen, thinking maybe she would be in there getting breakfast. But all he found was a note written in her handwriting.

_Jake,_

_I'm sorry I had to do this to you but I'm leaving. I'm going away so I can't fuck up your life any more. All I've done is ruin your life and I know if I stay, I'm just going to keep doing it. I'll always love you, but it's time I said goodbye. By the time you read this, I'll either be at the airport or already on the plane headed anywhere but here. I'm sorry, but this was the only choice I had._

_-Lena_

Jake immediately came to his senses and woke up fast. He grabbed his phone from the counter and dialed Lena's number, in the hopes that she was still on the ground.

Lena felt her phone vibrating in her hand. She looked down at the screen and saw Jake's name and picture begging her to pick up.

"Hello?" She answered.

"Lena, thank god you picked up. You can't do this. What the fuck are you thinking? You can't just leave like this." Jake sounded panicky.

"Jake, it's the only way I can protect you and myself. I'm sorry, but I have to go." She went to hang up but heard Jake's pleading voice.

"Lena--"

"My flight is boarding, Jake. I have to go."

"Lena, no--"

But it was too late. As she hung up the phone, a small tear escaped, rolling down her cheek and splashing on her dark wash jeans. Ohio was where she was meant to be, and where she was meant to stay. She could settle down for a bit, and figure out what she was going to do. She had left everything behind in L.A: Her career, Andy, Jake, the boys, everything.

When she found her seat on the plane, she put her carry on bag on the floor by her feet. Her phone had six texts from Jake, a couple from CC, a few from Ashley and Jinxx, but none from Andy. They all wanted her to stay, but Andy didn't. And that was what made leaving easier. She had been torn between the wretched and the divine. Neither won in the end.


End file.
